A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there,OK, so here's the deal. Essentially I'm getting mixed messages from a very good (female) friend of mine.Up until a couple weeks ago, I had been in a long term relationship, but I chose to end it essentially because I wasn't happy and we were different people, actually very amicable split.Since then I've been spending more and more time with this girl that I'm good friends with, and have been since we came to uni two years ago. Now it had always been a very platonic relationship, I always viewed her as one of the lads. But since I became single, she's giving me very mixed messages.On the one hand, she says that I'm like a brother to her and she thinks it would be 'icky' if we slept together, and a lot recently she's brought up this notion of platonic a relationship we have.But on the other hand, we're spending more and more time together - in fact tonight is the first night we've not spoken for at least a week. She's texting me a lot more than she used to, she's coming round to mine randomly for food (when I've not invited her, but equally I'm happy enough with it), going to the pub with her a lot more. There's been a few times now we've stayed in and watched DVDs or the TV or something and she's just been sitting on the sofa with her leg sprawled across me and she's just perfectly happy and comfortable sitting like that with me. The other night she came round and it got to like 2.00am, and even though she only lives a 15min walk from me she asked if she could stay. I was happy to sleep on the sofa, but she said to me "oh it's fine, we know we can share a bed". Nothing actually happened, we both nodded off really quickly! But she's also taken some of my old rugby clothes to sleep in, which is a bit odd for 'just a friend' to do, in my eyes?Also, she's been saying a lot lately how much of a 'really nice guy I am' and how I'm not like other lads cause I'd never do half the stuff they do and that I'm just generally a really sound guy. She's also said that she can happily go places with me and she doesn't mind me meeting her friends cause I'm a really nice guy etc.Last night though, I was walking her home from the pub, and we got talking about me and relationships. I said that there are girls that I'd say I'd happily be in a relationship with, because they're really good people and she just turned round to me and said "oh well why don't you do something about it" in what I think was quite a flirty way, making me wondering if she thinks there's something more there than we both want to admit?I'm just generally confused by it,
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Thanks for the replies.
I'm sure it's not that she just wants to have sex, I'm sure if it was a case of just sex that would have become apparent by now.
As I say, it's just these messages and the way she looks and smiles that has be wondering what's really going on - if she wants something more then that would be fine by me, but I'd just need her to actually come out and tell me!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): she loves you, go and have sex with her. if u two had shared bed together because she wanted to have sex, but you didnt have courage.. go and do something otherwise she'll be long gone
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A
female
reader, Level22  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 To her you are safe and comfortable to be around, and she is happy with it like that. If she wanted something more you can be sure "you would know". She does not feel any pressure from you. If you want to know how she really feels, date someone else ;)
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