A
female
age
36-40,
*wiftRaven
writes:Hey..i'm lying in my bed trying to clear my mind up and i simply feel hopeless.i'm in love with my good guy-friend, for the past 2 years. i'm 25, female, virgin, and i never had anything close to relationship, not to mention a damn kiss :( This friend of mine is like a sunshine to me- we laugh a lot, and share the same passion for music. i never met anyone like him. whenever i'm alone without him- i feel horrible- and i even get jealous when other girls flirt or talk to him.He's 33, and much more experienced.I've tried to hint him a few times, either he doesn't get it or he simply doesn't want to hurt me.thing is i don't wanna lose him by dropping this " i love you" thing on him , yet , i'm bursting with feelings :(what shall i do? how do i get over it? :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): If he is in a relationship already, it might make things difficult. But you need to make him suspect your feelings, so you can make a move when he is not in a relationship.Turn up the flirting. Women are often too subtle, and men will often assume your just having fun. Make a point to be physically close to him, make physical contact whenever you can. Overly compliment him; preferably in a way that would normally be appropriate for a girlfriend - laugh it off as a joke so it's not awkward, but hopefully he'll get the point.Don't come out with "I love you" - it's too much. You do need to spell out your feelings for him somehow (we men often need things laid out in plain English). Something like "I think you're really great, and you're an amazing friend, but... is there any chance you want to be more than friends."Don't expect a reply immediately. If you get an awkward silence, say "Well, have a think about about it" and switch to a different conversation. If you don't get a gentle refusal immediately it is probably a good sign - ask him again in a few days if he has had a chance to think about it.Good luck, and remember, either you have to make the first move, or you have to drop HUGE hints about what you want.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): Hey,well your situation is very fustrating. I carry a philosophy that has worked for me in many ways which is "id rather regret what I have done then what I haven't". of course this has its cons, but in the end, after a few wrong decisions I can understand myself better.By all this I mean that maybe you should make it more obvious. Like, ask him out to the movies, or at your house just both for a romantic chick flick. You have to realise hat guys are very thick at times, and they dnt pick up hints. Believe me. :D so make it obvious, yet not too obvious like "Oh Bob, I am so alone tonight, and I wished someone was there with me so I could have some company" no. more like "Bob, I m free tonight, my roommate is out of town, wanna watch a movie?" like.. the second one is more subtle. If you dont want to get out of your comfort zone than talk to someone who knows about your situation, and blurt it out to them. Make it a female if preferable. Boys tend to think tht opening up is a free ticket to making out kissing you.And dot be afraid that he is more experienced. If anything happened among you too, and he is a very good friend, it is even better for he will take care of you, and make our first time perfect.Keep me updated!Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, hip_hoppin_bitch  +, writes (17 April 2009):
ask him wat he would say if u ever asked him out, and if he says he wouldn't date u for some reasons, and asks why jst say no reason, and if he says he would go out with you, then tell him u have feelings for him, and ask him out for real.
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A
female
reader, SimplyDelicate +, writes (17 April 2009):
Do talk to him regarding this matter. Be straight up with your questions. Or simply tell him how you feel. It could very well be the best thing you've ever done.
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