A
female
age
26-29,
*J1443
writes:Hi everyone, this is a bit of a long story, so thanks if you take the time to read all of it:Here's the long story short, I fancy 4 people, one of which is female. It all started 3 years ago, when I had a new music teacher, who was male. He was so cute! From then on, the tiny little crush I had on him had escalated to an obsession, possibly addiction. I wanted to know absolutely everything about him, where he was at all times, all the usual stalker-ish things. There was even a rumour going around the school that I followed him home and that I was going to get excluded, which of course wasn't true. Also, he knows about it, so he just ignores me now, which I think is harsh. But in July, that all changed.In mid-July, our school went on a watersports trip to Spain, and it was awesome! we all had a great time, even though the coach journey from the UK was exhausting. Anyway, when we got there, we met our trip leader for the week, Sid. (not his real name!) and I fell immediately in love with him and followed him everywhere for the rest of the trip. The nicest moment was when we got to hold hands cliff-jumping. It was such a sweet moment. I didn't want to leave, but when I did, I was gutted that I would probably never see him again :( From then on, I've been back to spain, but not the same place. I think I was more depressed back in Spain than at home. I missed him then and still really do. Also on that trip, was one of our PE teachers, Mr X (not his real name!). He was a great sport and whenever I see him around school, he'll always ask how I am. He's one of the other people I fancy, because he is just awesome and he's really fit. I always secretly liked him, but never really realised it until after the trip, when I saw him on the first week back. That's not the only problem I discovered that Summer.While the Spain trip was happening, back home, the annual American Exchange was happening and the people from America were visiting the UK. The music teacher I mentioned earlier was running it, and he took his girlfriend (now fiancee) with him, to propose to her in New York, so she obviously had to go on all the trips on the other side of the exchange. So then the exchange ended and when I came back from spain, the pictures were up on Facebook. When I saw a picture of my music teachers' fiancee, I fell straight for her. i don't know what to do about it, because I don't know her, probably will never meet her, and she will never know how I feel for her. I can't tell my music teacher or any other teacher in fact, because they'll go and tell her, and thats not what I want. I also frequently have really sexual fantasies about her.What do I do?? People have said to go and see a counsellor, but i'm not sure; I want to see what you guys think.Thanks so much for taking the time to read all of this, I really appreciate any replies about suggestions.Amy from the uk xxx
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female
reader, AJ1443 +, writes (9 November 2011):
AJ1443 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks! That helps so much! :D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): Okay I'm going to try my best from my own experiences to answer this. I don't think you need to see a counsellor, you're only young, and your hormones are raging and attracting you to anyone you find attractive physically or emotionally. I know when I was fourteen a couple of the stalkerish obsessions with teachers, they're cute, funny, and they seem interest in you but the sad part is their not, they're just our teachers and that's all they can be, I'm sure you understand this but you can't help but dream away about them! You need to accept the fact that these people are out of the question, and you will accept this as you grow up and mature, all it took for me to get out of the obession stage with boys was time. It also helped a lot when I started to interact with boys in person who were interested in me, I realised the ones who I could never have were just stupid to lust over, so go out and meet guys your age, have one of them sweep you off your feet and maybe you can obsess over each other, in a non stalkerish way! :)I'm so glad that you are realising that this is potentially a problem and trying to seek help. As for the female crush and fantasies, I wouldn't worry about it, I wouldn't freak that you could be a lesbian or bisexual, but at that age, with the hormones cruising along, the mind can be a little confusing. Just enjoy life, enjoy friendships and friendships only with teachers, and meet some guys or girls your own age, whichever way you like it. Goodluck sweetie, :)
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