A
female
age
41-50,
*aryjane88
writes:3 months ago my (ex) fiance broke up. We had been fighting a lot and it came to a head. He had said too many nasty things that I could not get out of my head. I just couldn't deal with them.I am still so in love with him and just yesterday we met up for the 2nd time since breaking up and it was crazy intense and amazing to be with him again. I love this man so much and when I look into his eyes I see children and a beautiful future. There are a few things that bother me though. While we were together I sometimes felt judged and misunderstood. He has a terrible paranoid streak that would get in the way of our love and trust for each other. I feel that he knows that this is his problem but I am not sure as yet how much he is prepared to change if we were to give it a shot again.Here's the complicated part. 6 weeks ago I met an absolutely amazing man that is sweet and sensitive and caring. We then decided to be together and we have been making plans for the future already... I really truly like this man and do believe that we can be great together. One thing with him though is that he says he does not want any more children and that he wants to get the snip. So, I am in love with them both. The answer to who I love more is my ex. We have a lot of history and have been through so much but for us to work it would take heaps of work and one thing that scares me is of course being hurt again for the same reasons.I don't want to make a wrong decision. I don't want any regrets. I want to be with my man now for several beautiful reasons but he doesn't want any more children. I want to be with my ex because I love him and always have and he would love to have a child with me.This is really hard. My ex knows about my boyfriend but my boyfriend doesn't know that I am or have seen my ex.Btw, I have never been a cheater. I don't know what's come over me but when I see my ex the man I was devoted to and was prepared to spend the rest of my life with I fall to pieces. why??
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female
reader, Basschick +, writes (27 May 2012):
 Dont be a cheater then. Stay with your current b/f. The grass is not always greener. Plus you have no future with new guy since he does not want kids. You are just looking for an easy way out and there is not one. You already admit that you still love your current man. You will regret losing him. Regardless of his paranoid streak you're better off with the one you truly love. Since you know he's paranoid just work harder at reassuring him. It's so easy.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 May 2012):
 Why? Because you are not over him yet simple. You rushed in to this second relationship to quickly you should have gave yourself time to heal and get over your ex first and you never would have found yourself in this position.
Okay so looking at the guy you are currently seeing I don't think it is going to work. Mainly because you want to have a child in the future and he doesn't. So if a child is something that you really want I suggest that you finish with him. Because it will never happen.
As for your ex. Well if he has issues it is up to him to sort himself out. You cannot force this on him, it depends on how hard he is willing to work to put the relationship back together. So talk to him and see where you stand with him and what he wants.
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