A
female
age
41-50,
*iel
writes:Hi.. I need some advice please.. I have been in a relationship for almost 2 months. We have good time together, trying to get to know each other better. He is a nice guy, sensitive, serious, we have many things in common. In bed i don't know, he acts like it only for him, for his pleasure. He does little at beginning but not enough, I feel like "prostitute" like I must not have pleasure for me. When he try what and how he want and he finish, he is too tired to continue for I finish too. Is it possible I finish and I just didn't have orgasm? I had only 2 times. After I feel so bad, I wish we didn't do it at all..I feel used. Maybe he doesn;t realize it..I tried to tell him and show him sometimes how to touch me and how to do it, gentle and not like he hadn't had sex for years, but most times little change I see. Afterwards if I look sad and I don't talk he asks me "something happened? is everything alright?" and its so difficult to tell exactly what is the problem.. I am not a sex maniac or something..If we make 2-3 times a week and have pleasure from it I will be very happy. I even started to compare with my ex-who hurt me so much with his behaviour- he so much care about how I feel in bed as well.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Sounds like your problem is that he just sucks in bed. My advice is tease, tease, tease. I suggest investing in some lingerie and looking at some soft-porn (or suggestive myspace pictures) to add some sexy poses to your repertoire. A good one is to pull back right after you guys start doing you thing. At this point a guy will say or do anything to get off. Also think about taking charge and ordering him around. This can be pretty hot for a guy.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (23 June 2009):
 I agree with Satin 100%.
There could be a couple of reasons as to why he isn't seeking to please you. 1. he's had women before you who "faked" and he thinks he is all that and a bag of chips. 2. He is selfish is bed. 3. He believes that if sex is good for him, it's good for you. 4. He is in-experienced sexually. 5. He is lazy.. Uh the list is long..
All 5 is to a point pretty misguided.
If you want to continue to see him you need to tell him WHAT you like. When you like. Don't let him poke you with a hard-on and accept it for foreplay.. lol Make him WORK for it.
I know in brand new relationships you don't want to talk sex right away, but showing him what you like in bed is a good thing. Accepting bad sex is not. He has the potential to be a great boy friend for you, help him achieve that.
Just remember don't tell him he sucks at it. But take charge. Instead of going straight to bed ( or the kitchen table/sofa) talk about sexual fantasies with him. Tell him what you would like for him to do, NOT what he is doing wrong.
Felling like a hole in the matress is not acceptable! And don't forget if you don't show him, how is he supposed to know?
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