Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aeris83  +, writes (21 April 2011):
aeris83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks aunt honesty, i think thats what im going to do. the more i think about it, the more it makes sense to do as u say. as for jamen's response, well u couldnt be further from the truth about everything but its ur opinion and it may apply for someone else but not for me.
A
male
reader, Jamen Somasu  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Please end your current relationship now. The fact that you are still thinking of this other guy clearly says that you are looking for excuses to cheat on your boyfriend. If he is as great as you say, let him off to build a relationship with someone far worthier of his time. If he asks why, be upfront and honest. That way, you both will not be as hurt as to the opposite (finding out from other sources later on).
Although I understand fully well that this other guy is far more attractive now (no least thanks to you being in a current relationship) and eating forbidden fruit is far more enjoyable (which is why you are sticking to your present BF; to use him), I have to ask to let go of your selfishness. Obviously, you are not ready for a LTR. The only thing anyone here can ask is to not be selfish enough to wreck other people along the way.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 Ah that changes things. I thought from your original post that you have actually met this guy and that he was a big part of your past and someone that you couldnt let go of. If am honest with you I think you are better cutting contact from him and making things work with your current partner. You have never met this man therefore you dont truly know him in person. You probably get these feelings because it is something exciting and you know you shouldnt be doing it which is giving you a thrill. But really getting to know someone over the internet a lot of the time is just fiction and you really dont know the real person behind it. He could be a totally different person when you meet him face value.
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A
female
reader, aeris83 +, writes (20 April 2011):
aeris83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno ive never met him. we talk on skype. meeting him would be impossible. and for the 'if its love' well ive never felt like this before... my heart feels like bursting. i thought i was happy in my current relationship. i dont want to make a mistake.
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A
female
reader, aeris83 +, writes (20 April 2011):
aeris83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno ive never met him. we talk through skype. meeting is almost impossible. as for 'if its love' well ive never felt like this... feels like my heart will just burst. im really confused. i thought i was happy with my current relationship. i dont want to make a mistake.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 April 2011):
 I'm confused, have you ever actually been together with this other guy? You say you had to see him again, so you've seen him in person in the past? Have you ever kissed him?
Sometimes we fall in love with an idea rather than a person. How do you know what you feel for this other person is actually love?
By the way, thanks for the follow ups.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (20 April 2011):
Whoever you feel more drawing to then go to that person. But just remember if you chose the other fella you will be leaving your family behind and also your home and relationship. Do you really know him that well to give up your whole life for him? You really need to think it through and also think of the consequences.
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A
female
reader, aeris83 +, writes (20 April 2011):
aeris83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionas for why i got back in touch... i just couldnt forget him.. i know the timing for getting in touch with him was really bad but i had to see him again.
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A
female
reader, aeris83 +, writes (20 April 2011):
aeris83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok ive done the list of pros and cons and it doesnt help at all because of the fact that i havent met the other guy. ive lived with my bf so i know his qualities and his faults.. but for the other one i mostly know his qualities so i have no idea how it would be with him. thats why its so hard cuz i really feel like going to him most.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 April 2011):
What made you decide to reach out to this guy again? Why wasn't he left in your past where you put him before?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (20 April 2011):
Im sorry sweetie but nobody can make this decison for you. It has to be your choice. It is a very hard situation to be in but you really need to give one of them up. I think the best thing you can do is sit down and write down all the pros and cons of being with each of them. Once it is wrote down on paper it will be more realistic and you can look to see where you would be happiest. Whenever you decide you will need to cut contact from the other guy for both your sakes. Goodluck.
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