A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for over 4 years. My wife and I have had a rocky relationship, we are both strong willed people. But we always seem to make it work and we love each other. However, because of our differences, it seems our communication is now toxic. She can be very judgmental and blaming. She even blamed me of losing her checkbook once, when I never have her checkbook. So now, she can't even bring up a concern without me thinking she's blaming me or accusing me, and I can't bring up concerns without her blowing up and telling me how she's suffering with being overwhelmed as a small business owner and new Mom (we have a two year old daughter).How can we move past this? Should we just go straight to therapy? I'm tired of the bickering. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (4 December 2012):
My guess is you are not having issues because of your "differences," but rather because of your "similarities." You said you're both headstrong. My guess is there are other things you have in common that end up clashing. IMO, there is a reason for the phrase "opposites attract." It just may be the two of you are too similar.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 December 2012):
 You both need to put that spark back in to the relationship. It can be hard when you have a child to actually remember to spend quality time together, and everyday stresses are probably taken out on each other. Make some time for each other. Get a baby sitter now and again and head out together. Have romantic nights in, both of you need to make an effort.
Again you also need to communicate more about worries and stresses as well they build up each of you probably just explode and it turns in to a argument. You both need to sit down in a calm atmosphere and have a good chat without arguing or raising voices. Tell her you are worried what all the arguing is doing to you all as a family and sit and talk to each other. Agree to make time to sit and talk about life in general and agree to try and help each other out as much as you can, if this fails then maybe marriage counselling is the next step. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 December 2012):
 yep therapy is all about communication... it can help you learn to communicate.
I strongly recommend it.
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