A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. So I need some help.There's this boy I like... We're pretty good friends. But... He's sending me some serious mixed signals. Here's how it all started: (sorry if it's lengthy, but it all has a point.)Well, he and I met at the end of the summer, we had one amazing night together, basically where we hung out all day and night until we went our separate ways.He texted me constantly for 5 days, flirting, and whatnot, but then it all stopped. I thought that he liked me, so I would text him so that he knew that I was interested in him, and hopefully we'd schedule a get-together. But he would stop texting me, meaning he only replied a few times then stopped.I saw him 2 other times, and we just happened to be at the same place at the same time and we barely hung out. So I assumed he lost interest. Yeah, it was a little depressing, but I moved on.But he texted me once again, and we planned to go to the city for a day. The plans were set. After everything was planned out, we weren't going to get together for about 2 weeks, but everyday he would text me, every single day. Honestly, I fell for him again.Then when we got together, that day was magic. We held hands all day, and when they weren't held he had his arm around me. He was a complete gentleman the whole day, and when we caught the train to go home he gave me a quick kiss.When we got back to his house we ordered pizza and watched a movie. Eventually before the night was over we ended up making out, which was more of a move I made. So, after that was over, I went home, it felt so terrible to say goodbye.The next day he texted me and for a few days after that. He kept saying I was very gorgeous that night and my kissing was very very good. He also admitted that he liked me, and we were going to try to hang out again. But I suggested on New Years and he threw that idea out, which I assume he wanted to be with his friends. We decided on 3 days after new years because I was going to get a tattoo on my ankle and he wanted to be there for because I'm very scared, he said he'd hold both my hands if need be.But here's my problem... He stopped texting me, and whenever I text HIM, he won't reply sometimes. He'll just end the conversation. I'm terrified that he lost interest again. Is that possible? Or am I just being paranoid?I'm hoping it's just me being paranoid...
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 December 2011):
Hi there. Both of you do need some time on your own where you are aren't texting or seeing each other.
Perhaps a day or two or even three days, of no contact with each other. Using that time to have a life of your own.
"Life of your own" meaning, for you to see your own friends and pursue some sports or hobbies or other interests, that don't involve him being there.
And the same goes for him also.
Two people in a relationship, don't need to be together constantly, because it becomes suffocating.
You both need room to move. You both need your own personal space. It's crucial for happiness.
I suggest that when you haven't heard from him for a day or two and you text him, and he gets annoyed, he's actually telling you he wants to be left alone. That's why he ends the conversation, rather than engage in it.
It would be wise to take that as a hint he wants to be left alone. He's asking for his space when he does that.
So don't be offended by it, just accept it.
He needs his space, just as you do.
And instead of texting him - because it's been 2 or 3 days since you last spoke - do nothing, and wait for him to call or text you.
When he does text or call you, it's because he wants to speak to you.
If you are patient and let him text or call you instead from now on, you will find that you will have lots more to talk about and it will be a lot more fun as well.
And no, I don't believe it's that he doesn't like you anymore. It's more a case of that he wants his personal space. So please, let him have that space. You will be glad you did, I promise you.
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