A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I would like people's views on whether people can really change. My boyfriend of just over 6 months has had a really 'eventful' past and I'm scared he'll turn out to be just like he was then. He's slept with over 100 girls, including a prostitute and he has an STD he can't get rid of. He's also treated some people not very nicely and I've been brought up with a stereotype of people like this, as my family are quite conservative.I do love him and he treats me well, I'm just scared he hasn't fully changed and is just waiting for another opportunity to do something stupid. When I think about the past, it seems like a different guy I'm with now but is this possible?
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (14 March 2006):
 My personal view on this is you need to consider if he is worth the risk?
I would look at it like this - Is he worth enough to you to take the risk that he may have not changed?
If you believe he has changed and is sorry for his past behaviour (the fact he has told you about all of this is a really good sign), and won't act silly again, I would take the chance
Alternatively, if you don't think he is worth the worry and the constantly looking over your shoulder, I would leave him.
People can change. However, there are plenty that don't.
You need to look at him and look at what you want out of life and if you can trust him and feel he is worth the leap of faith, go for it. If not, its time to move on.
Love is always a leap of faith. Sometimes we care enough to make that leap, sometimes we don't. Its never right or wrong, its always up to the individual and whatever happens we learn from it.
In the meantime, take proper precaution in terms of safe sex and assess what you really want in your life and if he can give you what you need.
Take care
A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (13 March 2006):
 Hey there anon..
Your question is indeed a tricky one, although, In saying that I am sure there are people out there who have done things similiar (to the guy you mention in your question) have came out totally brand new... Yet again on the other perspective the other ones have totally not changed thier personalities, let alone there shoe sizes!!
You say that he is already your boyfriend, I think that you should take this relationship in a shallow basis for now just to see how the boat goes.. That way you can judge for yourself if the boat enters the deep waters and gets rocky or if it tips..
People can change and 6 months into a relationship I am sure you would have probably realised if you are destined soulmates or playful pups..
I would remind you to be cautious and remember never to judge people in terms of PAST events.. The past is the past and what happens then stays there.. It is unlikely he would do this again, not in a 6 months relationship. So what if he treated someone particularly unkind, it happens and as long as it wasnt you then you have nothing to worry about..
I know thats easier said than done.
As for the STD, Protect yourself and use proper protection you dont want to be tied down with this kind of disease..
I can totally understand you when you mention that you are scared of this happening to you, but really, give yourself some credit for taking the first step onto the relationship, must have taken guts.. and YES people can change not all but some actually do..
When someone has maybe done something similiar to what happens in your situation, then It comes back and whacks them hard and its what they call a "Wake Up Call", maybe he has experienced this and has changed..
Only time will tell.. but for now..Dont worry yourself sick..Relax and be happy
Good Luck
Jacqueline
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A
female
reader, x_pixie_x +, writes (13 March 2006):
 yes it is possible for someone to change. someone can't change over night but in time they can. xxxx
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