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I’m stuck, I feel alone and lost!

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Question - (11 January 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 January 2018)
A male South Africa age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I'm struggling with life at the moment.

My relationship is a mess and even though i want to make things right i just don't seem to be doing anything right.

Work is the same, i have a great job and career but due to the troubles of life my reputation is gone downhill.

I avoid fixing things. I have sat with the same task list for the last 6 months and have done nothing about it. it is as if i blank out of responsibilities. I have no motivation to do anything.

Its like when i want to write out a list of things that are troubling me or even tasks for work or things i need to do, i will write it out and plan what needs to be done, and just when i think i wrote everything down i realize i missed something out and that something is a big thing.

when i add that to my list i get de-motivated and then stop doing anything. i lose complete focus and don't want to move forward.

I'm stuck, i feel alone, i feel lost. My partner doesn't understand and has her own demons to face, so I can't even talk to her.

Please help with any advice.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2018):

You may need to see some positives in your life first to motivate yourself to tackle the negatives.

There was a time when everything in my life was wrong... and it kept getting worst, so I thought. Until a friend asked me to tell her one positive thing that happened to me each day. It started small and simple - like, I took a hot shower and it felt good. Then after a few days, she asked for 2 positive things that happened each day. Soon it went to 3 things, 4 things, and by the time I started telling her 5 positive things that happened each day, I realized things were not really as bad as they seemed. It was then that I gained the confidence to tackle my “troubles”, one at a time. I also learned to reach out and ask for help and guidance.

By focusing on your positives, you will gain the confidence to conquer your negatives. Good luck!

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (11 January 2018):

It's called frustration. You see one thing gone wrong; and then another. All of a sudden, you've blown it all out of proportion. My friend, life isn't a party that brings happiness 24/7. It's all about beating challenges, setting and meeting goals, and overcoming obstacles. There is joy in the final victory!

Setting priorities takes the confusion and tedium out of tasks that seem to gang-up on you. Procrastination is your enemy! Letting a bad-day blow-up into a full-fledged crisis is surrendering to the "drama queen" we all have inside.

You also need to get a thorough physical-examination; to rule-out vitamin or nutritional deficiencies, and/or oncoming depression.

Before taking pills and going on drug-therapy, ask your doctor about homeopathic treatments. Everyone winds up on pills these days. Sometimes we need to consider alternative treatments; considering the human-race somehow survived all the mental and emotional maladies we face today way back when. Yet somehow we've survived as a species. Sometimes you've just got to pull it together and decide; "I can do this!"

Get plenty of rest, drink lots of water; and vary your diet with fresh fruits, vegetables, and nuts.

Get out and exercise. Get a creative-hobby to take your mind off your troubles, and for the benefit of an intellectual-outlet. Find a way to help others; so you don't focus so much on how bad you imagine your life is.

We all make mistakes, forget things, break things, and embarrass ourselves. Welcome to being human. You can't always hold a champion's cup over your head! Count your small blessings, or they will dry-up! The good thing is nothing you've listed in your post is life-threatening!

You're not even 30 yet! So what are you complaining about?

I would like you to respond to a couple of questions.

1) Was there a recent set-back in your life (i.e. overlooked for a promotion, made a big mistake at work, suffered a major loss of a loved-one, or something highly valued.}

2) Was there a recent class or family reunion; or did you receive news of someone you don't like that much, who seems to have a wonderful carefree life?!!

Yes, my young friend, life gets hectic. You find yourself spinning your wheels.

It's the beginning of a new year! Who isn't looking back in retrospect, and reflecting on their past accomplishments and what still has to be done? It's the end-of-a-year woes! I feel you, my friend!

Like the previous uncle says. Take it an item at a time. Commit yourself to strike each thing off the list; but don't punish yourself, because you can't do them all at the same time. Multi-tasking is soooo 90's; and it's not for everybody. Sometimes you have do things deliberately! One thing at a time!

Progress is made doing things methodically over time. Magic is doing it all in one swoop! Most of us get things done through progress.

See your doctor. You sound like you might be heading for depression.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (11 January 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHow do you eat an elephant? One small bite at a time. That is the only way to tackle your lists. If you look at the list as a whole, it is little wonder you lose heart and can't even make a start. However, if you break it down into small chunks, then it will suddenly become less frightening and much more do-able.

Set yourself a target of just one or two items off the list a day and try to stick to doing that. Or even one item every couple of days if one a day seems too daunting. Only YOU know what you can manage. Whatever it is, make sure it is of a size that does not dishearten you. However small the bite size, as long as you do one a day, or one every couple of days, you will make progress. It doesn't matter how slowly you move, as long as you keep going forwards.

Sending hugs. Be strong.

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