A
male
age
36-40,
*hristian66
writes:The situation I’m in, is pretty bizarre. I’m guy and my best friend is in love with me. I’m 27 and he’s 28, we know each other for almost 10 years, we're like brothers. I never knew he was gay. I’m not trying to judge gay people, I don’t know much about them. But it’s kind of strange that my friend loves me. He has felt this way for very long time and he was afraid to tell me, but silently he was hoping I could be gay too. I appreciate his courage and all and he also respects me. He doesn’t make moves on me, he knows I’m against it. He told me that he has always loved me and he'll love me all his life. I feel very bad because of it. I wouldn’t want him to waste his life waiting for something that will never happen. He’s dear to me and I want him to be happy with some other man. It’s strange to meet him now. He says he still wants to be my friend and I want it too, but actually I doubt it’s possible. If he loves me, how can we be friends? Sooner of later his feelings will probably take over him and I don’t know what will happen then. I feel like it’s all my fault, I feel like I’m breaking his heart. What should I do?
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 September 2012):
 You say this: "I feel like it’s all my fault, I feel like I’m breaking his heart".
None of this is your fault, I am surprised a 28 year old would be so immature to profess his love for you like this. As for his saying he will love you all his life, phhtt, thats a not very subtle form of manipulation if I ever saw one.
You say it feels strange to meet him now, this is also not your fault. If he had honestly wanted to remain your friend he would not have spoken. He would have known the relationship would change once he threw his 'homosexual love' between two men.
There is nothing wrong with being gay, but there is something about your situation that seems icky to me.
If you want to restrict or limit yourself to him because the friendship has now changed that is your right, dont be manipulated into feeling guilt or blame, none of this situation happened due to any action of yours, and if he wants a boyfriend he needs to go find somebody else in the same boat.
In the meantime you need to start finding new people to mix with as well!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Peonysheart +, writes (23 September 2012):
 Friendship is a part of love. You can love anyone and not be involved with them. I do believe it is possible to stay friends. Him telling you was very brave, and I am sure a major concern that he would loose your friendship.
As friends you should be able to share your concerns about not wanting him to waste his life on something that will never happen. Just as you are respecting his decission to be gay I am sure he respects yours not to be. If you are as good friends as it sounds than you will both want whats best for eachother.
Best Wishes
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