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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have serious body image issues. It all spawned from chronic low self esteem, depression, etc... I used to be fat and ugly and guys and girls would bully me over it.. Until one day I blossomed, and I'm what people call "gorgeous" but I genuinely do NOT see it. I look in the mirror and find one thousand things I can fix about myself and that just don't look right. I compare myself to other pretty girls and feel absolutely HORRIBLE without makeup, like some kind of alien. Even though my boyfriend says I am pretty without it. I had monstrous acne for the duration of high school and my self-esteem was like swiss cheese, like someone punched a million holes in it. I guess I never recovered from these so-called traumas (I know we were all young teens but jeez it hurts...) and I'm still living with the "ugly-younger-me" mentality. My boyfriend loves every inch of me it seems but I can't stop thinking how girls used to say I'm a "freak with bad acne"...that phrase will stay with me forever. I know nobody here can cure me, but what can I do to help myself cope and heal?
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female
reader, synchrohobbit  +, writes (29 November 2011):
 I struggle with this exact same issue, and have been to counseling countless numbers of times for a variety of things. Unfortunately, for this, it has never stuck. You can talk about feelings of inadequacy and do self affirmation exercises until your ears bleed, but that won't necessarily fix the problem. I think you are on a pretty good track if you are even willing to use the term gorgeous to talk about yourself, even in reference to someone else's words. Even though this is shallow, it definitely helps, and it is utter bullshit if someone tells you you shouldn't care about what other people think: put on some nice clothes, get the girls together, and have a night out where you can really immerse yourself in what people really think. Outside affirmation can be incredibly useful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): I support the Counselling/Therapy route as they will have the techniques to boost self esteem as well as be there to help you vent, recover, and heal with your teen years trauma/abuse.Also, how about getting a photo shoot done? See how beautiful you are and have a photo of you to remind you how beautiful you are. Also makes a great Xmas present for the BF! Have fun, pamper yourself. Treat yourself to pedicures, do things to spoil yourself and help you feel like a Queen.Put up inspiration quotes around mirrors, headboards. You will need to combat the inner voice that tells us how we think/ feel about ourselves and start to drown out the bullies hurtful/hateful barbs.Start poiting out what you like about yourself. I have a great smile, I am a very kind person (both matter). I have great legs. I am creative!You have a great BF who thinks the world of you. Focus on the good things in your life.Help others. When we are helping others, we release a chemical in the brain-dophamine- that helps us feel better. The same when we are treated kind and cared for. ;)As you are working on that inner voice and making it stronger and YOURS and less and less of theirs- you will be happier. Counselling will aid you in this. As well as you doing something for yourself, will also teach you that in the end, we DECIDE who we are, what we will be, and even if we will LOVE ourselves and ALLOW ourselves to be happy and loved by others.Our bodies physically regenerates itself, continuously. We shed old cells and create new ones. So really, that teen of yesteryear- she's gone. Who you are today, a new, stronger, wiser, happier young woman! EMBRACE THE NOW!*hugs*
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 Someone out there can help you help yourself. Therapy. That's what you need. Otherwise it'll take you some good 10-15 years to work through this on your own, only to get to a point you could be at withing 5 years if you see a therapist.
Tell yourself positive things and believe in them. Remember that people pick on others to make themselves feel better. Remember the story of the ugly duckling that turned into a swan. Remember that your boyfriend isn't faking his attraction towards you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): I know how you feel. Its this weird saying that goes if someone tells them self that there ugly then sooner or later you'll start to believe yourself. tell your self your beautiful everyday and then you'll start believing your self. and ppl that think there ugly are very pretty they just cant see it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): If you want a quality to life, i seriously suggested getting counselling.
I'm sorry to hear you went through such a bad teenage hood. Nobody deserves that, and yes it is awkward enough at the best of times without being bullied also.
You hit the nail on the head - its your self perception and self esteem. The only way to 'fix' this is to get professional help.
I'm sure there are many self help books and videos out there online. Do a search on google. But based on personal experience, the best option is to see a therapist and have that motivation (outside your immediate family/friends) help you get through. In time you will learn you are amazing and appreciate who you are now. You deserve to be happy regardless of your looks. It's all inside and I know this because I too suffer low self esteem and lack of confidence. I regret now not receiving some help because I sabotaged my own life by not letting myself reach my potential. I didnt learn how to challenge those negative thoughts/voices in my own head
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