A
female
age
30-35,
*abyyblonde
writes:I feel like it would take me a long time to go into the specifics, so I'm going to try to ask this as simply as possible.What do you do when you're in love with a person, but you're unhappy? I still love my boyfriend, and he still loves me, but I'm starting to develop depression over the stresses of our long distance relationship and I'm wondering what the right thing to do is here.I know my happiness is important, but I'm afraid to give up on something that was so good. We've been together over a year. I still have all the amazing memories, and it's not like we hate each other/don't get along anymore, I'm just having a hard time dealing with our situation, the insecurities, and other issues.I dont want to regret my decision and feel like a week later that I gave up too soon on something good. But on the other hand I feel depressed a lot and I also don't want to regret staying with someone and being unhappy and missing out. It feels like either way I lose. Should I stay with the hope that things can get better and I can work through my depression? Is that the wrong mindset? What am I supposed to do/think/consider with such a big decision???
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): in the same situation here, i have been with my man over a year and half, and i still have my cries about been apart which makes me feel better, but then i start to think about what we are going to do when together, plan our days out, but i know what you feeling its not easy ,but keep that commitmen,t and the loyalty and the honesty, and you will be fine, i talk to my man on live messenger, thats a good way to keep in touch, he wont do web cam though says i look 10 years older, LOL... wants to remember me the way i look until he sees me... keep in there girl, just think togetherness and happiness one day will be the reward, thats what i tell myself...
A
female
reader, Katie-Lynn +, writes (24 September 2010):
 I say keep going and look at your future more often. I'm in the same boat only it's been 5 years for me :) I know exactly how you feel hun. Keep the faith!
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A
female
reader, Katie-Lynn +, writes (24 September 2010):
Omg I'm in the same situation too! Only for us it's been 5 years. I believe that you should cope with it like I am. In fact, I was crying about the same thing literally before I got on here! But when I think snout how much this not and I are in love, just thinking about our bright future makes me happy again :) I think you know what I'm trying to say here haha. So yes, it's normal to feel this way! Just don't lose hope hun 3
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): Above all, you should make sure that you are happy. Sometimes we really love someone, but we can't be happy in that situation.
Can you fix anything about the situation, or at least make it better? Try that first. If you're upset because you can't see him enough, try making plans to get together more often somehow, or make your time together really quality.
If you're not using Skype or a similar program, maybe give that a shot. You can plan "dates" on Skype (i.e. both of you drink coffee and have a coffee shop date, play games like online Scrabble or each get five dice and play Yahtzee, watch a TV show at the same time, etc.). Get creative and make it special and fun.
If it's just that you feel less connected to him despite still loving him, that's a lot harder. But spending quality time together, talking about your feelings, etc. can help strengthen bonds.
Long-distance relationships can be very difficult. They take a lot of work and devotion. If it's just that you're not willing to expend any more energy to keep yours going, it might be time to give up. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; not everyone can stay together forever, and it's certainly not worth it if nothing makes you happier in your relationship.
This is definitely a decision you have to make for yourself. Weigh the pros and cons of all your options. Best of luck to you.
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