A
female
age
36-40,
*oo solid for you
writes:How do get over this guy I am still very much in love with? He says that he loves me too and I believe that he is be cuase we did grow up together and have been friends since birth. However we just recently got into a relationship six months ago and it went well, i was pregnant with his child and I lost after four months. He was there for me, until he told me the day after I lost our baby that he had cheated on me and the girl that he cheated with was pregnant. I couldn't take it because I had just lost a baby and it really hurt me to hear that someone else was carrying his child, so I left him. Now he is with the with the girl he got pregnant and is saying that he still loves and is in love with me and wants to be best friends, I can't just be friends with him because I am still so in love with him... what should I do?
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (6 September 2012):
 That is the hardest part, especially with all the ways to communicate these days. I worked with my ex and seeing him and having to communicate yet trying to move on was one of the most difficult things I had to do.
A
female
reader, too solid for you +, writes (6 September 2012):
too solid for you is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do understand I will continue to do what I've been doing, and that's living my life without him. I do however have to work on not speaking to him @ all anymore
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (5 September 2012):
He is doing it to get a response from you and it is working. If he gets a response from you, then he understands that you are still willing to communicate with him and that indirectly, he can control you, your thoughts, and your feelings.
The thing you need to do is stop communicating with him. If you stop communicating with him, you stop allowing him access to your life. Honestly, he wasn't crying when he slept with Girl#2, so he shouldn't be crying now either.
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A
female
reader, too solid for you +, writes (5 September 2012):
too solid for you is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think I am starting to get over him and a little bit of fun but, now he's telling me that I'm wrong for getting dressed and going and he actually cried. Is he just doing this for attention?
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female
reader, too solid for you +, writes (4 September 2012):
too solid for you is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u so much BondGirl72 yea it does feel like a hole is there, but I will absolutely take your advice and try to keep busy and have fun and also steer clear of him if I can.
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (3 September 2012):
I will tell you what happened to me. My boyfriend of 7 years one day told me he just wanted to be friends. I tried and couldn't because I was in love with him. When you're in love with someone, you can't be friends with him as hard as you might try. Unfortunately, the love will probably always be there, at least until you find someone new. You have to get out and do some things you enjoy doing to trick your mind into forgetting about him. You won't, but distractions help. I am only saying this because I got so tired of being sad, that I got very serious about getting over my ex. It literally became my full time job to make myself happy and try to get away from his memory. Obviously, I can't erase it completely. It is also harder if you have to see him everyday. If you can steer clear of him, it will help you move on. I know how badly it hurts. It feels like someone carved a hole through your center and you're left feeling empty for months.
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A
female
reader, too solid for you +, writes (3 September 2012):
too solid for you is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really do appreciate the advice, but exactly how do I get rid of the love I have for him? I understand that he cheated and has gotten the girl pregnant, and I don't want to be with him. but every single time I see his face old feelings began to surface, and I see him almost everyday. I get jealous of the relationship he has with her and not to mention the baby she is carrying. How do I begin to heal and move on from him? I have known this guy literally my entire life. Do I just stop everything including friendship?
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (3 September 2012):
Stick with what you are doing. Do not go back with him as he has broken your faith in him and your trust. He may say he loves you, but love is an action, not a word. If he loved you, he would keep his pants on when it came to other women.
You also need to consider that this other girl will be in his life forever. The two of them are having a child, and if he is responsible at all, he will at least be a good father. Is that something you want? Seeing her, him, and their child everyday of your life and having to re-live your situation?
I think breaking up with him was the right thing to do. If your friends/his friends continue to speak to you about your relationship with him, I would be very clear in telling them that you are broken up and you would prefer not to talk about it anymore.
Also, I just wanted to say that I am sorry you lost your baby. It is a very hard thing to go through emotionally and physically. Even if you weren't expecting to have a child, once you find out you are having one, you are excited and looking forward to it. I wanted to tell you I am sorry you had to go through that kind of loss.
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A
female
reader, Beatriceandjohn  +, writes (3 September 2012):
If he loved you, he wouldn't be with the other girl... Walk away for good there are guys who are better than him, good luck X
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