A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex boyfriend and i split up a just over a year ago. our relationship had been very serious and we were both deeply in love with each other. he ended it because he felt too young to be so serious, but left the option open for the future. there has been on and off contact between us since we broke up. i was seeing someone briefly but it didnt amount to anything and i didnt feel anywhere near as much as i did for my ex. recently we've been in contact again, and whilst he's being very friendly, i have no idea what he wants, or even whether hes with someone else. i know im still in love with him and worry that im not moving on. do i just feel like this because he was my first love, or because there is something between us? i dont know what to do for the best.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): I think you should cut contact with him until you are 100% sure you are over him. You will be tortured with this as long as you keep in contact. Be sure to tell him this, and ask him not to contact you. Tell him you will call him when you are ready. I also think you should take his number out of your cellular. You can always get it from a friend of his later.
Good luck and find yourself before jumping in it with another. You will likely find another that makes you feel even better.
A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (25 May 2007):
 Oh, honey, I'm sorry. First love is always hardest. All the other loves that come after it are pretty hard too, but with the first time, you don't have anything to work with, experience-wise. It's like being lost in a cloud.
My advice would be to abandon all hope. Of course you're going to think of him, of course. But don't start thinking about "In the future this could work"... I know it's horrible, but put your relationship with him into the past. Think about the good times you had with him, until it turns into a lovely memory - but nothing more.
Stay friends with him, by all means, but you have to stop thinking about him romantically. Easier said than done, I know, but it will come with time. Good luck.
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