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female
age
18-21,
alymarshall
writes: well to make it short im 17 and my dad left when i was nine my mum was great through it all but after 3 months of her and my dad spliting up she got pregnant with twins well me and my dad didnt speak for 6 years and i have just become in contact with him (met him twice since)my mum then moved 90 miles away with the twins and my sister followed now there is only me and one of my sisters livingin the same town dont get me wrong i have a great relationship with my sisters and did have a great one with my mum well she has recently moved in with he bf (whom i dont like and he dont like me)well now i feel as if all of my family have left me and dont care no moremy mum and dad never text or email me to see how i am and when i try to talk to them about it they have ago and say im being selfish and that i have grown up now and its there time for themselfs what can i do im so scared that i have lost all my family thanks aly
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): helloyou should never be have to be put in the situation that your in it is totaly unfair and you shouldn't have to deal with somthing like this. First of you must not think that this is your fault because it is not. Your parents do need time for them selfs that is true but they shouldn't leave you ither. It is good to know that you have one of your sisters with you because its always good to have someone to talk to. You are grown but however you are only seventeen and are not even an adult yet. If your mum and dad are not trying to keep in contact with you, and if you have met up with your dad then atleast you know things are going alright in that part of things. You have more familey up were yur mum is so why not travel up there and you go and see her. It is never easy having a parent walk put on you at that age and i'm sure your mum would love to have that relationship with you again. Maybe she needs some time to sort things trough but that is no excuse for leaving you and your other sister. So travel up to see your family and if you do and they still don't bother then give them abit of space then try contacting them again because beleive me they will get tired of missing you and try to get contact you again.Iknow it ist really that good of adivse but i hope i helped you out a bit more. Lots of loveFshion victim..x
A
female
reader, Vanessa1983  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 Aly
Don't be scared. Your parent's will always be there for you when you truly need them. I love, love, love my sister but i dont speak to her everyday. My mum and i get on like a house on fire but we never call one another. Sometimes distance is the perfect opportunity to build bridges it means you both make more effort when you do see each other. Try to drop mum and dad a line every so often. One of the hardest things to understand about parents is that really they are just like us, and they make mistakes too.
This is a great opportunity for you to stand on your own and make the best of your future, your parents will step in when you need them, I'm sure of it.
Ness x
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A
female
reader, Kinky Boots +, writes (16 August 2008):
 Despite all of this, i would still try and keep in contact with them, i know it sounds harsh, but i bet they still love you, they are just moving on. Sorry, that they are reacting like this, but if you keep texting, emailing, phoning and writing to them,then you are keeping up your side and they cannot say that you are not trying to keep in touch. Your mum has twins and it must be hard for her, and i cannot believe that she doesnt love and think about you a lot. I couldnt do this to my kids, but we are all different, dont go down to their level by not keeping in touch. Bombard them with messages of all description and let them know that you love and miss them all a lot and want them as part of your life. One day you will meet someone who will love you for you, and you will have a family of your own and you will have a loving family. Just make sure that you bring into their lives all the love and happiness that you can. But dont feel hard done by. We can all feel down and lonely, we just dont stay there. I have felt this way before, it is not nice at the time, but it all moulds us into the strong individuals that we all become in time. I send you big hugs.
take care
*******
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A
female
reader, littlesuziepie  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 I agree with jen86. You should talk to a counelor. They really help. Your parents won't talk about it because they feel guilty. When Parents feel guilty they know how to turn it back on you and end the conversation. In the mean time you should write a letter to each parent and express how you feel. You can rewrite it as much as you want to make sure everything is said and said the way tou want it to be. Then mail it. This way no one can cut you off. Interrupt you or change the topic. Its the best way to communicate with people that won't listen. You need to also realize that you are strong enough to make your life what you want. You don't need them right there with you. Once you speak with a counselor you will see that you are stronger than you think. Keep moving forward with your life and your goals. Don't stop just because they moved away. And remember they don't love you less because they moved away dear. I am sure your parents love you so much. That's why it hurts them to know that their decisions make you feel the way they do but they are doing what makes them happy at the moment. I know your afraid and feel lonely but please remember you are loved very much.
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female
reader, dreamflower +, writes (16 August 2008):
 You ahve most certainly been through hell haven't you dear? Okay, first of all...it's clear your mother is not interested in ahivng you around. It sounds like she has chosen her new boyfriend over you for whatever reason. If I were you, I would jsut stay away from her. She isn't setting a good example, and I don't think she'll be any help to you any more. Your father seems like he does care for a little, just because he took the time to hang out with you after being separated for so long. Perhaps you should call him until you can talk with him and make him understand how alone you feel. More than anything, I think your best bet to get a move on with your life is to completely ditch your family (since that's what they've done to you) and put your faith in this other sister that lives in town.Do you ahve any friends that could help? What about outreach programs through church or school? Have you thought about maybe talking with someone at a shelter about getting help. You are 17, so they you don't have to worry about them sending you to a group home, but they can help you with a place to stay and food. I ahve been homeless myself several times, and no matter how alone you are, or how bad things get, there is always a way out.Take ten minutes to cry sweetie. let it all out. All the feelings of rejection and loss...betrayal and loneliness. Let everything out and just let it fall to the ground. Then I want you to hit the phones and call every person you ever even sneezed at, and explain what has happened. Odds are there is at least one good person out of ten that will help you. In the meantime, focus on school, and maybe finding a job. make sure you have a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear, and some way of getting around town. If you have to sell some of your stuff for money, it might be a bad idea, though I wouldn't recommend letting go of anything personal.Your family has abandoned you...and you have two choices; you can keep doing what your doing, or you can go out and make things better. Remember: You can't count on anyone but yourself. You'll be fine sweetie, just dig deep and find the reasons why your still alive and use that to keep pushing forward. There's always help available...you just gotta go find it! Don't let other people hold you back like this, because you don't deserve it.
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female
reader, Jen86 +, writes (16 August 2008):
u poor kid! Ur not even a proper adult yet. To be honest i think ur better off without your parent who won't even listen to what you hsve to say. Its not you being selfish at all you just need some support from them and they won't even give it to you.
Is there anyone at al you can talk to? Any friends or your sisters? Believe me they won't think any less of you. Forget any macho crap about men not having any emotions and being able to take anything that is thrown at them. Its bullsht. If there is no-one go to your doctors and they can refer you to a councellor which will help you through all this. They can provide you with a lot of help and point you in the right direction if you come across any difficulties no matter what they are. From finances to emotional problems. If you do need fther referral they can advise your doctor that you need to see a psychiatrist or psychologist. There are always ways to get someone you can talk to.
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