A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 29, and my ex is 30. We broke up about 6-7 weeks ago over some serious misunderstandings and misscommunication. Over the course after that breakup, we were talking, but then it faded to nothing. Last monday, she emailed me, and we have been in contact since, and I have seen her nearly everyday as well. We msn IM each other alot. She feels that its better for us to talk this way because of it being non-intrusive. I would agree. She also said that I am very special to her, and that she wants to be good friends and see where it goes. She is moving away in about 6 weeks for school, and is already pushing me to buy a plane ticket to see her. The current problem is, that she likes to see me, but only for a few minutes. We haven't went out and done anything as far as dates, etc. There hasn't been any physical contact other than a couple of hugs, thats it. I don't want to get pushy with her, as I am as scared as she is about getting hurt again, however I would like to know what my next steps should be. We are talking again, we are not expressing negative energy towards each other, I am just confused, because she said she is interested in seeing where it will go, but right now, she doesn't want to do much more than just talk this way.Should I be "hard-to-get" or should I just hold the door open for her. I don't think she is playing a game with me. She has said several times that she doesn't know what she wants. right now
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): yes , she sounds confused . I think you should stand back from the situation a little . If you focus too much on winning her back with too much attention ..she may find it annoying and will back away from you.
Interesting that she wants you to buy a plane ticket - she sounds like she wants to make the decisions and I'm afraid there has to be compromise here.
An easy way to make yourself more attractive is by building on your self- esteem . Hang out with friends , take up a new hobby and don't focus your energy and worries on her . A relationship is based on mutual respect , trust and talking . you deserve this ! Distance yourself a little , wear some new clothes , restyle the hair and show you can move on....she will realise what she is missing .Good luck !
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