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I'm sick of playing 2nd fiddle to my boyfriend's ex!

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 January 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and my boyfriend and me fight lot because i accuse him still have feeling for his ex girlfriend and ex girlfriend have move her life and they break up and he don't like she going his best friend andHe took me to our favorite spot and A place we go to hang a lot Something seemed to catch his eye and I look over my shoulder and I turned around--to see what's up and A pretty young thing sure enough and then she flicked her hair and He's acting like a fool and I did my best to block his view But it was like he could see through me and he's starting to embarrass me and I don't know what he finds so distracting and what's so hot about her andI really don't like the way he's acting and What's so hot about her and he don't like me the way he look his ex girlfriend and the other girl is my young sister and my sister is 18 year old and my boyfriend is 22 year old and they dated for 3 year and i feel him can't forget past love and Because I am sick to death of this he act and I am sure as hell sick of playing second fiddle to his ex and his ex is first and i am second and he lookin', as she goes by,he turn his heads and he watch her till she's gone andI know he loved her A long time ago and Even now in my arms and he still want her I know I want Let her memories die When he hold me his arms and i want Let it be me not her and i Don't him pretend it's her in his mind and Maybe I've been a fool Holding on all this time and Lyin' here in his arms Knowing she's in his mind But I keep hoping some day That he'll see the light and and him and her hang sometimes and the see the way he look at her and i am angry and i am jealous my sister and i feel like my ex still flame with his ex girlfriend and my boyfriend and his ex are still friends and She rang my ex who went for a drink with her but didnt tell me cos he thought id go mad and She rang my ex who went for a drink with her but didnt tell me cos he thought id go mad and Ive tried my best to explain how it makes me feel but he doesnt see what my problem is...the thing that is really bothering me is that he can see how much it hurts me but continues to do it and he thing is when hes been drunk hes said stupid things like he thinks she's pretty etc...and we have fallen out, infact any argument we have ever had is about her and I have tried my best to accept this but when he meets up with her it drives me insane and she have to text him all the time when she has a large amount of other friends and what should i do and should i stay with him or leave him

View related questions: best friend, drunk, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous, my ex, text

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (13 January 2011):

largentsgirl89 agony auntI don't understand any of this question. I'm not really sure what the situation is on this one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

If you dont feel hes truly yours and hes still rebounding from breaking up with his ex, then parting might be your only option. Many people enter new relationships too early after a bad break up. They want to feel needed and loved again. They will talk of love very early on in a new relationship. Get that person secured, then 'settle' with them quickly, just to get those feelings of being a couple back again. Sometimes they will pick people who they dont regard very highly, so theres little challenge from them. Someone who will put up with their behaviour and stand by them no matter what. And if the person ends up leaving them it wont be a big deal. Because the 'reboundee' hasnt invested much in to the relationship anyway. Lets face it, they cant! Not when their emotions are still tied to an ex partner. He seems to have found that with you, im afraid. If that is the case, then you will quite rightly feel hurt and used. Until hes over her, he will not be able to understand that you have a problem with him. Because he doesnt understand that there is a problem. Hes being selfish and concerned with his needs. And you needs dont exist to him. If he wanted to get over her, he would have been working on that over the past year and things would be improving for you both, not getting worse. So it sounds as if he doesnt want to get over her, hes quite happy on the fringe of her life, having contact with her and sneaking off to meet her. If you have done your best to win his heart but hes still treating you like second best...after a year together and many conversations about this problem. Then it might be time to think of parting. He clearly doesnt want to get over her and he doesnt see or care that his behaviour is hurtful to you. So theres not much you can do really. Staying with him, will only serve to ruin your confidence even further. Somewhere out there, is a guy who will feel for you as your partner feels for his ex. I think you deserve to find that person and be special to he that deserves you. You dont have to put up with 2nd place in someones life. Its your decision. All the best.

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