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I'm sick of being known as 'the slag'! Three months and they still won't drop it!

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 June 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

this is really beginning to upset me now, in march i had a small get together with friends, 8 of my friends came over from college and we got a take away, had alot of alcohol and we danced and sang, it was a great night! when it came to half 1, 2 o clock in the morning everyone started to go home, but one girl, and one boy (we'll use the names.. jade and mark so it doesnt get complicated) stayed at mine, because i live in a terraced house and im an only child, my parents had the atticks done out for me, so we slept in there, i was too drunk at the point to get myself to bed, ha, stupid i know! but i dont usually drink. jade got me upstairs and ready for bed, which i dont remember, but i went to sleep. i tossed and turned during the night, and i woke up at about half 6 in the morning, jade was fast asleep, and mark had his hand in my trousers, he was like, 'playing' with me, when he saw me wake up he didnt even move it! he carried on and smiled at me, i was so mad, mad at myself for allowing it! and ma at him for taking avantage!! i quite literally threw him down the stairs and told him to get out of my sight! i ran downstairs and i got in the shower, i sat in my bedroom in my towel and i cried! i know its pathetic, i got myself alll worked up over nothing, but when jade came downstairs, she asked me what was up, so i explained to her what had happened, how he did this, and he kept kissing me the night before and she should have sent him home! she went into college and told everyone, that me and mark sh*gged whilest she was in the bed! now everyone at college is giving me shit, ive explained what actually happened to the people who matter, but im sick of been known as 'the slag' people jump to conclusions, its been 3 months now and people still wont let it drop! ive had enough. i dont know what to do anymore! ive got a month left at college and i wanna quit! i wish i had a big sister to turn to! i hate college. what can i do?!

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (21 June 2009):

QuirkLady agony aunt*hug* I'm sorry that guy took advantage of you. Good men do not take advantage of sleeping drunk women. Don't be mad at yourself, you didn't do anything wrong at all, and it wasn't sad or pathetic for you to be upset. What he did was absolutely, positively, 100% wrong.

Jade was a terrible friend for spreading that awful rumor. I don't know what she was thinking - jealousy? meh, who knows - but you don't do something like that to a friend.

The next time someone talks about that rumor, tell them it's not true and then drop it. Continuing to talk about it will keep it alive, and since it's a lie it's not worth any of your attention anyway. Keep your head up and stay at school. I know you can make it. In fact, every time you show up at school and let everyone know that you are still strong and still there, you win. There are always going to be people who want to drag you down, but if you keep going and doing the right thing they will have no power. They'll be sitting on the sidewalk mad while you walk by with your head up and your self respect intact.

Good luck!

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A female reader, Chippy2 United States +, writes (21 June 2009):

The more you try to defend yourself the longer the rumours will hang on.

Its best to just concentrate on your college, to still attend a party or two - where these two jerks will not be - and not to get drunk.

I applaud you for kicking him out - You have some values they apparently do not!

Just be sure take care of yourself - dont be hard on yourself - keep a smile on your face keep your chin up and eventually no one will give it thought again.

But you have learned a lesson - and that is - Dont do that again and dont trust people to sleep over when they are drunk - and never never get so drunk that you cant take care of yourself! Alot worse coulda happened - You were lucky!

take care

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

What ever you do don't jeopardize your school. Focus on that, it's the most important now. Rumours can be so hurtful, and unfortunately you can't stop people from saying what they want to. The only thing you can do is keep your cool, and state your case everytime you can. If you hear that rumour, squash it there and then. Say that this dude assaulted you (true) and that the rumour is not true. I would avoid the girl who is saying this stuff about you for now. People forget over time. I'm sorry that this happened to you, but it will pass. People are fickle and they forget things very quickly. Think of celebrity magazines - it's news one day and forgotten the next. The people that matter will hear your side of the story and not judge.

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