A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm scared of the affects the abuse I suffered as a child is having on my life now.I was sexually abused when I was little. It wasn't the most serious case but obviously had an effect on my life and personality.However, what scares me now is that when I think about it, although I'm scared and ashamed, there is an element of arousal for me.Even writing this is embaressing me and I can't believe I can admit this. Is it normal? Plus, in the bedroom, I enjoy being and submissive party and love to be treated badly in role play etc. What's wrong with me? Did I want that to happen to me? Did I enjoy it?I'm so confused. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (20 June 2007):
 You didn't want it to happen to you. I was abused as a child/teenager and one thing that sickened me at the time and sickens me now is how I did get enjoyment out of it. Not the same as with my partner. I was told it was because whether I wanted my body to respond to the sexual abuse or not it did. If your spots gets hit it will arouse you. A tiny part of you may of enjoyed it, but you know what happened was wrong.
I think what I went through has had a definate influence on my sex life. When I started having sex with my boyfriends in my mid teens I didn't see it as being about two people who loved each other. It was about me pleasing the guy all the time because that was normal. I had to do whatever whenever a male wanted me too.
It wasn't until I met my current partner and got myself some counselling that I realised that sex isn't for the reasons I'd been brought up to believe they were.
I think the feelings you are experiencing are completely normal.
I hope this helped :)
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