A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I posted this before but I didn't get much of a response... I'm a guy and I'm scared of sex... Before anyone asks, no I'm not a virgin but being a guy, there's a whole lot of pressure to achieve... And if you don't, there's that horrible look (and sigh) of dissappointment. Not only that but girls nearly always tend to say afterwards, 'he wasn't that good in bed.' This has been building up inside me for quite a while now and it's got to the point where I don't want to have sex...My new girlfriend said something the other week about her ex, saying 'he wasn't that fun' whether she was just saying that or not is irrelevant. What if she says that about me in the future?? Is there anyway to deal with this problem?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 May 2010):
Sure. Lots of men are now 'expected' to perform. And why not. It's nothing to be scared of. The best thing to do is to experiment with her and listen to what she wants. Just tell her that you want to be her best lover, and then ask her what she wants you to do. She knows what she wants more then anyone else, so listen to her.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (18 May 2010):
 When you get to that point with your GF, tell her you want to learn how to please her. It is fine to tell her you aren't that experienced. Tell her you want her to give you directions, and take her directions. Communicate openly during sex and you'll learn very quickly how to be a good lover. The key is being attentive to your partner's needs. The girl who took my virginity loved the fact that I didn't know what I was doing. She treated it like a class and I loved it. She taught me a lot about how to please a woman, but the biggest thing was telling your partner what's working and what's not. As someone who is "inexperienced" I don't think you'll take offence to suggestions, so ask her for them. Just don't constantly ask her if she likes it. Too many questions can be annoying... I hope this makes sense. Just try to get her to give you some direction, and see where it goes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): Hello,
You're overly anxious and worrying too much. Do your best try and free your mind beforehand so you both can enjoy things to the max...
Good luck
;D
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