A
female
age
26-29,
*onfused...
writes:Please help me, I'm tortured every time I see fathers bonding with their daughters, When they hug each other and show each other how important they are to them. I never had that, I grew up with an absent father who stayed until I was 9 but cheated on my mom and then left us to fend for ourselves, even before he left he never tried to love me, my most vivid memory of him is when I was about 5 and I was struggling with my lessons and he just kept calling me stupid over and over again, Was I so terrible in my past life that I deserve this kind of life? Why is life so unfair to me? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): "Was I so terrible in my past life that I deserve this kind of life?"No, you're just very unlucky and unfortunate. Any guy can make a baby, and unluckily and unfortunately your mother just picked the wrong guy by whom to get pregnant. "Why is life so unfair to me?"Because life can be unfair to anyone anytime, all you can do is try your best to rise above having a lousy rotten lying cheating absentee deadbeat loser for a sperm donor (he's no father) in order to overcome the heartache and misery and anguish he's caused in order to become a well-adjusted, emotionally healthy, self-assured confident young woman.Not easy by any stretch, please consider counselling. A trained professional and neutral third-party can help you sort through your emotions and hopefully come to some sort of resolution from which you can move on.Sorry your sperm donor is such a piece of garbage, but you're your own person and in no way are you a reflection of him. Old saying "living well is best revenge" certainly applies here, make that a goal in life. Good luck and best wishes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): I understand where you're coming from, I'm 26 and never had much love from my father either. He left when I was 12 and I never saw him again before he died earlier this year.
Its difficult but you need to understand that its not your fault that he left, that's down to the whatever was going on between your parents at the time.
As for him not trying to love you, I see that as his loss. What kind of man is unable to love his own daughter? Do you really need that in your life?
It is hard to see other fathers and daughters bonding because it really drives home what you don't have. You could however look at it the other way, take comfort in the fact that not all men are like your father and that some men will stick around and be good husbands and dads.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 June 2012):
 You need to remember that this is not your fault, it was your father who was selfish and in the wrong not you. There is nothing you could have done to make his behaviour change or allow him to stay. You need to remember it is his loss. I am sure it must be hard for you seeing other people with there fathers, but be thankful that you still have a loving mother and try and cope with only having one parents.
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