A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for 3 months and we have had sex. I asked him if I was the only one he was sleeping with and he said yes he can't afford anymore women and we laughed. He picks me up almost every weekend and I sleep over he told me he realy likes me but I need to work on myself and have more confidence.[I just got over a bad break up]. He never said we were well I don't want to sound old fashioned but he never said we were going steady. He has a lot of girls numbers in his phone. No I did not snoop without asking, he gave me his phone to find a friends number while he was driving. He has never said he loves me I know it's early but when is an appropriate date to say this? I'm scared maybe he is useing me for sex. I'm not good at reading men do you think he is seeing other women as well because he dose not say Im his girlfriend? Or am I overreacting Help me I have been out of the dating scene for so long I don't know what to think.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): I don't think you have to worry. I know it is probably frustrating to you, but if I was you, I'd confront him about going steady. If you tell him that you love him, and want to go steady, and he says he'd love to, then it's all good! If he says he'd rather not, then that'll be OK too, because you don't need him!
I know you'd rather stay with him, and relationships are a scary, scary thing!! But if you are looking for a serious relationship, and he is not willing to make that commitment, then he's not right for you.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 You gave him sex and everything and what did you get in return?
If this is not using you , what is it?
Even a hooker gets paid for her services.
Stop the sex and see how he treats you.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (16 March 2008):
There are many things that he is doing that makes me worried for you.
You asked him if hes sleeping with any one else and instead of replying by saying no because he is commited to you, he made a joke out of it. Its a serious question and a serious answer should be given. His response says alot about his values I think and how sensitive, or not he is.
You said he picks you up almost every week so you can sleep over his place. Do you spend much time just hanging out, not having sex or making out etc? Do you spend alot of time just talking? If so, thats a positive thing to remember.
I dont think he has the right to tell you you NEED to work on yourself. Sure having confidence is a good thing, but from the way you wrote what he said, it sounds like he isnt prepared to accept you for how you are at the moment. He hsould accept you no matter what if you have lots or little confidence.
In my opinion he is using you. I'm really sorry but thats what it seems like. I really think its best if you leave him. Even though you arent exactly gf and bf...Stop seeing him. I know it may be hard and you probably want to see the best in him, but doing that will only cause more heart ache for you. Put a stop to it now so you can beguin to heal.
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