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I'm scared he will leave me again...

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *rbanbabe writes:

Dear cupid i have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 years and, he has been the only person who i have ever loved.

A few weeks ago he left me and didn't give me a good enough answer to say why he left me, he told me he didn't love me the way i loved him and he have become more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend.

A few weeks before he ended it we booked a fortnights holiday in Portugal paid for and everything, i wunderd why he didnt end it then or tell me before we booked our holiday.

A week later we had a chat as i decided to call him thinking he would not answer the phone, he did and we chatted we met up went for a meal and spoke about things, we dedicded to give it another go.

He said he didnt want things to be how they where and he wanted me to make more of an effort in the relationship. im trying so hard i really am.

Although he says he loves me, i think he might be saying it just to make me happy, because a few nights ago he was chatting a friend of mine up on the internet because her sister told me she had found the conversation and sent it to me.

When i read it i almost broke into peices, he was flirting with her sayin she was good looking and he would like to take her out etc.

Why would he do that to me.

I have been so scared over the last few weeks that he would just break it off again, i love him so much and i dont wanna lose him.

I cant eat or sleep and i am feelin sick all the time, im not relaxed at all.

But when im with him i dont feel this way i feel relaxed and normal, but when we are apart i go to peices.

Help!

View related questions: flirt, the internet

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A female reader, Urbanbabe United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2010):

Urbanbabe is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Urbanbabe agony auntHi There is some other issues in our relationship, i had a miscarrige last year and i didnt tell him about it.

I have told him now since we got back togther, but i have never got over it properly i still cry over it, and it hurt me even more when he left me.

I can not break it off, im scared that he will break it with me, i love him so much and life without him would be so hard.

I didnt even think i would get through a week without him, i have never ever felt so low in my life, and never thought about ending my life before, but i thought what have i got to live for, i felt suicidal.

I just need to be with him and wanna make it work so much, i wanna feel relaxed around him again and be able to trust.

Maybe it will just take time, but i didnt realise what i had lost untill it was gone.

When we split everything reminded me of him i felt as though someone had died, his clothes in my closet, and his shoes still at the door, the places we went togther and i couldnt bare to look at the photos still on my wall and on the shelfs.

His CD's on the cd shelf, and just everything even the food i eat reminded me of him, how could i go on not having him anymore. I dont even have any best friends because they have all moved on, so what chance would i get of meeting someone else, someone like him, and i know i would look for that in another man, someone with same interests and proberly even looks.

Me and my ex split up 7 months before i met him, i was only going out with my ex for 1 yr and a half, and he made me get rid of his baby, then he dumped me, and i found out he was seeing someone else behind my back, i hated that.

Then two months on i found out that he had cheated on me with two other girls.

So i have been hurt before, but not as hurt as i would be now if it ended either way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010):

It sounds like his not in to you anymore. You deserve more, brake if off and take some time for yourself. Find something you enjoy doing, don't be afraid of change. When one door closes another opens....

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A female reader, ashlydance33 United States +, writes (10 March 2010):

ashlydance33 agony auntSounds to me like this will not end well. Not only did he already attempt to leave you (and didn't even have that great of a reason) he's trying to take someone else out. And if he says you're not trying when you know you are trying really hard, that's another reason things should not continue. He's blame shifting. End this as soon as you can to save yourself from further hurt and to save yourself some dignity. You do not want to be in a relationship where the feelings are only one sided.

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A female reader, TellMeAnything United States +, writes (10 March 2010):

You have to grow up. Don't ever let a male you ain't married to get the upper hand on you like that. Heck let him leave. Don't Do the chasing,Get Chased,&Get Caught. I

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A female reader, Auntie E United States +, writes (10 March 2010):

Auntie E agony auntOh Honey! When a guy leaves you for no good reason and then tells you that you are more like friends than bf/gf - he is breaking up with you. Do not put off the inevitable. This is going to hurt but try to break if off with your dignity intact. Let me know how things go.

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