A
female
age
30-35,
*is12
writes:I'm 17 years old and so is my boyfriend. I'm ready to have sex with him, i'm just nervous because i'm a virgin and he isn't. What if i'm bad and don't know what to do and what if it hurts? I'm scared i suppose but i know i'm ready. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): Hello
I am in the same position as you at the moment. i am also 17 but my boyfriend is 18. Im a virgin he isn't.. Im scared ... real scared because i dont want him to think im s*** at sex .. he doesn't know im a virgin. and i dont know how to tell him but if u can talk to your boyfriend you should be be fine.. !!
sorry if i wasn't any help.. but your not alone! x
A
male
reader, xylplxym  +, writes (12 December 2007):
Ok how can you possibly think you are ready to have sex if you are this scared and uncertain of how he will react?
I don't expect you to listen to me since enough time passed for you to do it alot, so this is more for everyone else.
This situation is a perfect example of why sex really only works in a marriage (a good marriage anyway). If you marry someone for good reasons then they will accept you no matter what. So there's no need worry about technique and not knowing what to do since he will accept you anyway.
If you have sex now, among other things, you risk a lot of your self esteem.
That you are scared is a clear sign you are not metally ready for sex even if your body is. If you have sex you are just setting your self up for a world of hurt or denal like so many chose over pain. Is this a Catholic bias, yeah. But you ought to listen. If you have sex and you find you do get hurt emotionally or your relationship dies, I have no sympathy for you.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (3 December 2007):
It seems like you are really ready,heh? Most guys at that age are excited to sleep with a virgin and may get carried away. So before you get into the act tell him this is your 1st time and ask him to be extra careful but as a man who's been there, i can assure you that you'll have to remind him even when in the act. Tell him to stop if it becomes unbearable to you. Don't try being on top for now as you'll find it extremely painful. Tell him not to thrust too deep and not too fast.You could always try side by side. There are various positions that may be more comfortable for a 1st timer like you. Mail me if you wana know more.All the best.
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A
female
reader, -Colour-Me-Sober-  +, writes (2 December 2007):
 If he knows that you're a virgin then he should be gentle but if you think he might get carried away ask him to go slow.It might hurt or feel uncomfortable at first so let him know how it feels and stop him if you're really uncomfortable.Hope I've helped xxRemember - Always use a condom!
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A
female
reader, Xx-kay-xX +, writes (2 December 2007):
 its something everyone does at some point , so jus gat it over and ask him 2 b gentle
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 Well we always get the first time jitters. I know i did when i lost it for the first time. Ask yourself, are you sure you are ready or do you feel that you sort of have to have sex? Think about it seriously. Your virginity is something you never get back so lose it to the right person who will cherish it as much as you do. If your sure about that then do whatever pleases you. Its your first time so of course yoour going to get a little nervous because you feel insecure due to the fact that he has experienced it before and you have no clue whats going to happen. Just go with the flow and try not to worry so much or else you wont enjoy as much as you would like to. Discuss this with him and let him know how you feel. He should understand where your coming from because everyone has been in your position before. Think about it and make yoour choice. Good luck!
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