A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this classmate of mine, who is my best friend and is a girl. I sort of like her, she knows this. Everything was fine until i gave a cell phone as her birthday gift. I did not give it because i like her, i just gave it as a friend.she started fighting with me for this reason. We used to talk every night on phone and everytime possible. But now a days when ever i ask her, whether i can call, she bluntly says no. When we were fighting she said, i behave as if i am her boyfriend and so she is putting me at a distance. I told her clearly that i might have done it unintentionally, and i will change my behaviour. I told her clearly that i want only friendship with her and that friendly closeness that i can share anything. And also my intuition keeps on telling me that she is talking to another guy i know, but tells me that she wants to be alone and doesnt want to speak to anybody. Everything i see supports this intuition. Because when i call her, her phone will be busy. And i see this guy here talking on phone. I dont understand why she is avoiding me so much, when i care and i show affection to her. A lot. Please suggest a way to get her back and strengthen my friendly attachment with her again. I feel that she is giving away my place to another person. And i am not able to bear it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): Sorry but your behavior is just too creepy.
It is more than obvious that you're not her type, so why the chasing and what-not?!
Stop being a Cree for God's sake and move in. Guys like you always scared me.
A
female
reader, GettingHelp  +, writes (15 April 2010):
A cell phone is quite a big gift & would scare a lot of girls slightly and give them the idea that you're quite intense. I know you didn't mean it like that but I've been in her position.
I didn't want to lead the guy on - 'cause that's just cruel and it seemed almost better to just end it. To stop putting the poor guy through endless torture of having someone so close to him, but knowing that he'll never have me - and yet the hope never dies.
My suggestion is to back off and to try and gain her trust again, slowly but surely. Leave her alone for a while & then start with gentle conversations - small chat and all. No deep stuff and no "I need to talk to you" conversations. Don't get intense with her - she'll reject it even if you didn't mean it like that.
And if you really do want her as a friend: don't bring up your feelings for her unless she brings it up.
I wish you the best of luck, and I'm so sorry that you're in such a painful relationship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 April 2010):
She's just not interested. I've been there. You like a girl as much you as is possible, only for her not to feel the same and you both end up not even speaking to each other. It's just the way it is. Maybe she is talking to another guy. But really, that's what she can do because she's not yours. Maybe you're showing too much affection and care and she's finding it overbearing. In she can give your place away any time she likes, because she is free to do as she wishes. At this time, she has said she wants space. Respect that. The more you try to force anything upon her, the more you'll push her away. So pull back, let her do her own thing and make other friends. That's what you have to do.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 You cannot force anyone to love you . You can give your unconditional love and if she is not interested in you , you need to move on.
You cannot buy love. The phone that you gave her on her birthday looks like a bribe to her .
If she is not into you , it won't happen.
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A
female
reader, minda +, writes (15 April 2010):
the world is a bigger place
don waste ur love and time on her
if u like her
just tel her u like her
u didnt give her a cellphone to talk to some other guy right
u seem like a very nice person
just don waste ur love on her
i think she doesn deserve u
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): Some people don't ever like the idea of possibly losing a really great friendship due to trying to date each other. Alot of times, the dating thing doesn't work out, no matter how much you like the other person, and then going back to being just friends is compromised because of any awkward or negative feelings from dating. She might be too comfortable with trusting or confiding in you as a friend and doesn't want to ever compromise that trust and closeness as a great friend. If she knows you like her, and if she really is going with this other guy, she might be trying to avoid hurting you by just keeping her distance, knowing that you have strong feelings for her. If you wish to keep being a great friend to her, try giving her some space and avoid chasing her.
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