A
male
age
36-40,
*ottenhamhotspur
writes:I am 26 and in a relationship. I have never had sex before, but feel that I've finally found the woman that I would like to give myself to. We have a great connection, and this week we started to get hot n' heavy and she asked if I wanted to. I said no for two reasons- I had no protection and I didn't want to do it where we were. She is a wonderful woman and understands, and I even shared that I had never done it before. She made it clear that she would be patient and understanding with me and that she didn't care. Up to that point, I never really worried and things were great- but now I am axious (I felt sort of embarassed afterwards of telling her and I have anxiety issues that make it hard to 'shake off') I really want to be with her and I feel that I am ready, but I am just wondering a few things that will help ease my mind.For one, how can I relax? I know she's had alot more sex than I have, and I worry so much that I won't be able to please her and give her the experience I want to. Although I had no problem maintaining an errection while we were messing around, I am afraid my new nerves may get to me.Also, I have a penis that is about 4 1/2 - 5 inches long and I have phimosis. I am worried that I won't be able to find a condom that will properly fit at a store. I also don't know how I can bring up my phimosis or if it will scare her off. Thanks for all your help.
View related questions:
condom Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 March 2012):
 You're welcome.
A
male
reader, tottenhamhotspur +, writes (18 March 2012):
tottenhamhotspur is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou all were right! We still haven't done 'it', but we've talked more, got more comfortable and I feel alot better. She is a wonderful woman and I was worried over nothing.
Thanks everybody
...............................
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (15 March 2012):
 Hello,
I really think you are over thinking this. She knows it is your first time so she will respect this and look after you. Please, forget about size and erections. Simply get intimate and let her guide you. Your phimosis can be mentioned to her as well. Not a problem. Best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (15 March 2012):
When it's your first time don't worry so much about pleasing her. You aren't expected to rock her world or anything, no one is the first time they have sex with a new partner. Even if you were experienced it takes time to get to know each other and figure out how your bodies work together and feels good or not for the two of you. There isn't any universal method that feels great for all and everyone. It's up to each couple to find out what works for them. And figuring that out takes time! So no, don't worry too much about rocking her world at first attempt. Take your time, get to know her body, and continue to explore her. That's how you'll end up having a great sex life.
A good lover is always eager to learn, and willing to adjust, and pays attention to his/her partner. A good lover gives more than he/she takes, but also takes control of his/her own pleasure without expecting the partner to "perform".
Your nerves might get to you the first times, and make you go limp. It happens. It's quite common. So don't worry about it, it's not the end of the world, and yes, you'll get it up and working again soon enough.
You will find condoms that fit you. You should buy some now and try on a few at home, by yourself, to find out which ones you prefer and how to slide on one in a safe manner, and also learn how to take it off without sperm dripping everywhere.
Your phimosis will not scare her off. What do you think, she'll unzip your pants, scream and run? No. If she loves you and cares for you she'll love your body as well, as it is part of who you are. If she loves you she loves all of you.
You can bring up your phimosis when you feel comfortable about it. But you definitely should bring it up, so that she wont accidentally hurt you by trying to pull down your foreskin. For you and her to have safe and good sex, communication is the key. Talk about things, preferably before you have sex, so you are both prepared.
You should also talk to her about preferred contraceptives. Perhaps she is allergic to latex (which means you can not use latex condoms), or perhaps she prefers the birth control pill and is already on it. You should also ask her when she was last tested for any STI's. It is a healthy routine to get tested between each partner. So she should have been tested since her last boyfriend/last sexual partner. Many STI's don't have any symptoms, so she can be a carrier without knowing it. And, even if we trust our partners, they might cheat. So the best thing is to get tested after each sexual relationship before you enter a new one.
...............................
|
