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I'm pregnant with his child but he doesn't think it's his! Should I keep it?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm pregnant with my bf baby and he doesnt belive it's his because he has only just come home after working away and that was 4 week ago i havent slept with anyone else and i'm under 4 week so why doesnt he belive me we have being arguing a lot and we broke up 2 days ago but i really want him back i finished him as i couldnt cope with him and his family acusing me of cheating. Hes 5 year older than me so he should be a bit more sensible. Please help should i keep the baby i already have one from another relation ship.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (12 April 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntSperm can stay alive inside of you for up to a week, so the last time you had sex and actually getting pregnant can be pretty distant.

If you haven't slept or had intimate contact with sperm around the period (remember that 1 week staying alive thing) then it is impossible for you to be pregnant by anyone else.

It would be trivial to prove through DNA testing. But you should know best if there is even the remotest chance the baby is anybody elses.

If you have given him no reason to doubt you (such as cheating in the past) then... well none of the things I can think of are very nice.

One reason people distrust others is that they KNOW they can't be trusted themselves, in this case, if he sleeps around he will think you do the same.

Or he is unwilling to accept this pregnancy and uses his accusations as a way to get out.

Or he is paranoid.

Or he may have had a panic attack and try anything to get out of being a father.

With DNA testing so readily availably I can't believe he honestly doesn't believe you. After all if you were lying to him, you would easily be found out. All he has to do is ask for a DNA test, so why the hassle?

You already have another baby, if you keep this one and he doesn't accept it, then you will be a single mother with two babies each by different men. So? Is that a reason for an abortion? You are the one who has to decide but to have an abortion simply because your BF doesn't believe it is his...

Sit him down and talk to him and suggest having a DNA test (although it is insulting towards you because basically it means he doesn't trust you) if you want him back, DNA doesn't lie, if he doesn't accept that offer, then it is obvious he just wants out.

It may even be possible to have the DNA test early (it is done early to test for certain genetic defects, not sure if a doctor would do it for a paternity test).

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A female reader, tick-tick-boom United Kingdom +, writes (12 April 2008):

tick-tick-boom agony auntEither prove to him the baby is his or let him go.

If you abort the baby make sure you truly feel your doing the right thing, no regrets.

If you keep it i hope for the best.

If you really dont know what to do you could always go on Jeremy Kyle.

Good Luck! X

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