A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this guy for a month. we got on really well at first and i practically moved in. after a while he saw and contacted me less and we broke up. but i missed my perod, took a test and it was positive.i tried to get in contact with him to tell him, but he wouldnt answer my calls ( i didnt want to text him to tell him as i thought he deserved to be told face to face). He wouldnt give me the opportunity so i finally texted him to tell him.His only reply was to tell me he thought i was crazy! i told him i kept the test to show him to prove it! i cant believe how rude he is being. finally i convinced him i was genuine, but he doesnt seem to care. he told me i should speak to my mum and friends about it and that i was acting like we were married!! all i want is some emotional support for the person who is half responsible for getting me in to this situation. he is coming over to drop some things off of mine that i left at his in a couple days, but i dont know what i will do if he completely reglects his responsibilities. its not like hes a child, hes 26, and im only 22.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): I was in your situation last year. I was 18 pregnant by a guy who I was pretty much living with... then he decided to get back with his ex, and a week later I found out I was pregnant. I told him... he thought I was making it up. I also saved the test to show to him.. but it wasn't enough. I had to show him a proof of pregnancy from the doctor.And that was the last communication I have had with him. I know it sounds bad, but I am so glad he is not a part of my or Ayden's life. I know where he lives, but I choose not to push for child support because I don't want him to ever try to get visitation. I know it sounds cruel... but he is a jerk and I know he does not deserve Ayden.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): Sweetheart, i hope that you sit down and seriously think about what a serious situation you are faced with. 9 times out of 10 this pregnancy was not planned by you or him he does not seem interested in you or baby right now so I suggest you wake up and smell the coffee. I an not trying to be mean to you but the truth is at 22 you should be more responsible than to make a stupid mistake like that. If you decide to have this child, i hope that you realize that if he does not love and care for this child the primary responsibility will fall on you. The only thing he will have to do is support the child financially and that is all. A judge can not make him love this unwanted child, then who will suffer from the feeling of rejection the most? That innocent child. Good luck. P.S. Is this the type of jerk you want to be the father of your child?
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A
female
reader, bliss-xo  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Well personally, I have a strong opinion on matters such as this. It's not just your responsibility. If he didn't want to get you pregnant then he shouldn't have been having sex with you or he should have taken precautions, not just you. Obviously you are both in this situation, you did not climb ontop of yourself and get yourself pregnant.
Talk to him about it again, as well as your family and friends to get their opinions. You have options. Abortion, adoption, you could also have the baby. If he is indeed the father you could also receive child support etc..
Really what you need to do now is talk one on one about it as adults.
I wish you luck in your situation and I hope things work out for the best.
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 I think he has a responsibility as well to not impregnate women if not ready to become a father! If you decide to have the child it doesn't sound though as if he would be very good to have around anyway. I would say get him to take his financial responsibilities (yes, he does have responsibilities even though he doesn't have a utero!) and leave it up to him whether he also wants to be around as a father. If not, look around what other people there are in your life that can serve as role models for your child growing up (ex brothers, good male friends). Also you can join support groups for young parents where there will also be male figures around serving as good models for your child.
I wish you all the best in this!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Well, you went and had unprotected sex and now you are pregnant and you expect the guy who used you for sex to really offer you emotional support? It would be nice if that was all it took to get a man to care about you, but he is probably resentful that you did not take protection, unfortuneately it is still the woman's responsibility largely for birth control, it is you that is biologically able to carry children, not him.
If you want to have the child and you want financial support from him, then I guess you go and file for that through the courts, not from UK so don't know the system there.
Forget about allowing this jerk in your life, decide what to do to raise the child on your own, terminate your pregnancy or have it and give it up for adoption, many young couples out there who are deserving can't have children, you would help these unlucky couples have a family of there own, which works for everyone involved including you if you are not ready to be a mum.
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