A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance for 4 and a half years now we are very happy and plan to spend our whole life together. However, I've always had a thing for his brother. It's hard to explain but we have this weird connection neither of us have with anyone else. We have little jokes together that no one else understands and we just seem to connect with one another. I seem to be obsessed with him lately I found myself going through his emails and looking at messages and photo's of his ex girlfriend the other day.I think the reason I like him is because of course he looks like my fiance and has similarities although he's more successful than my fiance financially as he has a good job, house and nice car etc which my fiance doesn't. I know that sounds extremely shallow but do you think that's why I'm attracted to him? I love my fiance more than anything and I feel so guilty for feeling like this but I can't stop thinking of him lately! What can I do to stop this?Thanks!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 December 2013):
 I truly think that at 18-21 a four year relationship where you are totally obsessed with someone else (regardless of who it is) indicates a HUGE problem in the relationship.
I don't think you love your fiance more than anything because if you did you would not have "brother envy"
my last husband's SIL used to say "I married the wrong brother" she SETTLED for the younger brother when she wanted my then husband HE just never saw her that way. It created lots of stress and tension in the family and between the brothers. She was always a bit overly flirtatious with her BIL and it was comical to all who watched... she could not see it but we did.
You list all these material things that the brother has that your fiance does not. well you are 18-21 and I'll assume that you are 21 due to being with him 4 years and being "engaged". I will assume he is 21-23 and that's a pretty young age to have a good job, a good car and a house. Perhaps your expectations are too high for the fiance?
As to what you can do to stop it? I'd break the engagement and get out and see what else you think you are missing there....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): You can't. You just have to stop having in jokes with his brother. You can nevver cheat with this guy's brother, I don't think you understand that.
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