A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I'm so desperate to end this misery!Firstly, it was a crush... then it got a lil stronger and now it's just got out of control - I'm mad about him!!! He's 30, i'm 15 - big age difference! you see, he's a teacher at my school! Sometimes i cry myself to sleep, just thinking how i'll never be with him as he's married - it's unbearable. No-one who knows about this understands what i'm going through, they all say 'Just Get over It' i've tried and tried but i just can't, this really has become an obsession and it is really tearing me apart inside. I'm considering seeing a physiatrist but i can't do this without my parents knowing, i've kept this whole thing a secret from them. They would be shocked to know i'm obsessed with a 30 year old man!!! I need advice on what to do, i can't carry on like this anymore. I LOVE HIM too much... it's heartbreaking!
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Pinkbees09  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 I use to be the same way with one of my teachers last year. But then this year it was like, what I liked him? So people telling you to stop liking him doesn't help at all. It's ok to like him but don't tell him, as hard as that sounds or anyone else. I know I wanted to scream to the world how much I was 'in love' with my guy. I'm happy I did nothing about it though. So eventually it will fade away don't worry.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): OMG girl no way should you even comtemplate telling your teacher you love him.
Believe me when i say, the embarrassment would be tragic.
Ok so you think you love him, but trust me you don't.
I know from experience. I had crushes on two teachers of mine, 6 years ago. For a year after i left school it was unbearable. I went past the school hoping to get little glimpses of them, and honestly i never did. In fact even if i had, your forgotten once you leave. The guy has other pupils to deal with.
At least keep your dignity and forget about him. I won't tell you to look at the lads at school and get a boyfriend, because i know what you are going through and when my friends suggested it to me i looked at them as though they were mad.
So pls don't do anything AT ALL. For your own sake.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): Hey. I'm in the same situation as you are. Except, i don't think mine is an obsession. My situation is ten times more complicated than yours. My teacher is 28 years older than me. he's 44 and I'm 16. He's married, and has his first baby on the way. He's the most amazing person I've ever met. He can make me laugh, and cheer me up when I'm down. He makes me feel like I can do anything, and I'd give anything to have a person like that. He's not exactly a man candy, but he is attractive.
It's almost like we're the same person...except that he likes Math. We both hate wasting our time with people who never cooperate, being interrupted, not getting things done on time, and we both love being our best.
Well, for your case, I think you should do what I'm going to do. Tell him when you graduate. Don't worry the years will go by. Lucky for me, i'm going into junior year, and then it will only be one year left for me.
Good Luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiya Allie, erm...i really wanna tell him - but i'm so scared. I fink i'd rather go thru a less extreme approach like staring at him in an obvious way, so that he actually notices me - and perhaps if i make a habit of this he'll know i'm fond of him and HOPEFULLY comfront me about it so den i'd HAVE to explain it to him. it wud b alot easier doin it that way than to just randomly go into his room nd tell him the whole situation - with him being clueless about the whole thing! If youu get me?
so does anyone els hav any ideas as to letting him know my love for him! I'd like it to be as less humiliating as possible xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Allie08 +, writes (13 June 2007):
funny!!! ok so it depends completely on do you want to tell him??? cause you know if you do ill help!!! :D
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx Allie! I jus love how you agree with me lol - I really wanna tell him my feelings, or perhaps use body language to let him know. However, if i were to do this i'd dread his reaction! Would he be glad to kno he has an admirer, would he be freaked out by the whole thing? The only way to find out is to go ahead with it and tell him - but i would hesitate, afterall how can it be easy telling someone twice your age, you love them? I just need a boost to giv me the courage to do it...just hope i'd be doin the right thing - but knowing me, i'd probs do summat stupid Like dis
Me: "Sir, er... i got summat to tell you"
Sir: *looks at me blank*
Me: *Stand der like a prat for 10 seconds, den run out dah room*
Lol!!! Anywayz, feel free to giv me more advice xxx ty xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Allie08 +, writes (12 June 2007):
I don't know it's hard to say. but i don't agree with dr. pete because i know teachers who have dated students. But the age difference in your situation is what is so troubling. If you honestly think it's the right thing to do then do it. You shouldn't sit here and let people tell you what to do. Good luck. message me if you want to talk... :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (11 June 2007):
 No I don't think you should. I've worked in a school as a teaching assistant and teachers don't look at their students with any thoughts that any kind of sexual or romantic relationship could happen with them, it's the last thing on their mind since they are too busy doing their job. The very few teachers that do start relationships with the students are very much ethnically wrong and shouldn't be teaching.
Just because he happened to make eye contact does not mean he is interested in you, I mean what can you really expect to happen other than to make both of you really uncomfortable? He probably knows why you are staring at him, he's probably seen it from other girls before and he'll certainly see it again.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all yur advice ppl, especially to those who have told me about their experience...Gosh, i'm so glad i'm not alone!
I know dat in my previous post, i sed how heartbreaking it is to kno dat i'll never be with him. But i've changed my tune and have taken aboard some advice as to enjoy these feelings rather than feel down about them.
Anywayz, just a little update - I saw this 'Teacher' today, he came in one of my lessons and went in the cupboard to get some books or sumfin! I propper cudn't stop staring, my eyes were glued to his face and his bum lol! As he was walking out, he kinda gazed at me slightly...Yes, i was very chuffed. But the thing is, i fear he may be freaked out by me staring at him but i just can't help myself! I'm actually considering being upfront to him and confessing all, but to most - this probably wouldn't be a good idea! You see, i actually had a dream about comfronting him bout it and he was very understanding and caring towards me [that's the nice person he really is] Maybe this dream is a signal to actually tell him about my feelings - i'm very tempted! Plus, it would also put his mind at rest as to why i keep staring at him :D so do you guys think i should? if so, how should i approach him and bring myself to say it!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): Hun, I get what you're going through. I'm 16, turning 17 really soon and I've been in love with my 25 year old teacher since I was 15. I know exactly what it's like to have everyone tell you it's just a crush, I know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep because you can't be with him; I know all about it. I don't understand how people are so ridiculously stupid that they think oh, just because these guys are teachers automatically means they're not people therefore no girl should ever like them. Like wtf. K my teacher is 25, HOT, smart, funny nice, etc and I hate how people just assume that because we're young we "don't even know" what love is! Summer break is coming up in a week and I'll have to go two months without him, again. My God I'm sick of my life.
...............................
A
female
reader, shortybabes + ♥, writes (8 June 2007):
 Look love nothing is ever going to happen between you and your teacher, this is nothing but a highschool crush. He won't risk losing his job for a school girl. Get over him and move on babe, you will find someone who has such a crush on you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (8 June 2007):
You say "No-one knows about this understands what I'm going through" but believe me, everyone older than you has been 15 at some point and been through exactly the same feelings and experiences as you are going through now. It's exactly what you say, it's an obsession. This is not love, it's not love at all. What you are experiencing is a crush. You have emotionally attached yourself to a man that you unconsciously know you will never have, it is a "safe" form of attachment to get you comfortable and used to having a proper and real relationship with a guy in the following years.
You just have to remember that what you feel is entirely normal and that every teenager goes through the same thing. You are going to meet many great guys in the next few years of your life, and before you know it you won't even give this teacher a second thought. Don't believe me? Give it 6 months and right back on here if you still have any feelings for him! In the meanwhile, enjoy your feelings, but don't let them bring you sadness and stop with that crying!
...............................
A
female
reader, Allie08 +, writes (8 June 2007):
Ok i know exactly what your going through. I am 16 and had a huge crush on my techer who was 33. It's probably just a phase. You'll most likely move through it. But remember he is twice your age. That is way illegal. Even more so because he is you teacher. Just move your sights on to someone else your age or under 18! Hope all turns out alright...
...............................
|
