A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm so desperate to end this misery!Firstly, it was a crush... then it got a lil stronger and now it's just got out of control - I'm mad about him!!! He's 30, i'm 15 - big age difference! you see, he's a teacher at my school! Sometimes i cry myself to sleep, just thinking how i'll never be with him as he's married - it's unbearable. No-one who knows about this understands what i'm going through, they all say 'Just Get over It' i've tried and tried but i just can't, this really has become an obsession and it is really tearing me apart inside. I'm considering seeing a physiatrist but i can't do this without my parents knowing, i've kept this whole thing a secret from them. They would be shocked to know i'm obsessed with a 30 year old man!!! I need advice on what to do, i can't carry on like this anymore. I LOVE HIM too much... it's heartbreaking!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): k, well.. i have the same kind of relationship with my old teacher, he was my gr.56 teacher, we had a great relationship through.. gr. 78. now im moved into highschool, gr.9. we send messages everyday! its unbelievable. we hang out all the time, when he comes to town. we.. go for dinner, parades, shopping, and everything, he is attractive. after i was out of the school, we hung out during the summer. its soo much fun. :) people always tell me " he is the best, you guys have the best friendship ever, " or.." you guys seem like a couple, are you guys dating?" and stuff like that, i dont mind it, we both dont mind it. once, my friend was like " you guys seem so close" and then he looks at me with a smile and says " we're bffs!!" i thought that was kind of swweeet!! i think of him like an uncle. but then again, i have a crush on him, its unbelievable. hes like, the best. my own parents even call him my sugar daddy, && they hate him!! lol. well of course, they would. we talk about the future! he knows what i wanna be when i get older, he helps me through everything, we tell each other everything, we get mad about everything, we argue.. we become "not friends".. we make each other sick, but in the end, we love hanging outt.
the last time we hung out was when i came to town, he asked me to go for lunch with him and his class, so we did.
we went back to the school, teachers would just stare. it was embarassing, its kind of embarassing to be seen with him ..
he is 29, no kids, no gf.
i am 15.
but i know, this will never happen. but we still are bestfriends :)
and if it is illegal to hang with teachers, he shouldnt be doing this kind of stuff.& if he knows that it is illegal , he doesnt care, cause its me ! ;D
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female
reader, knightgirl12  +, writes (12 April 2010):
i have almost the same problem!! i'm almost 16 and i like my 28 year old driver's ed teacher! people tell me to get over it but i can't. i feel all sad too because i know i'll never be with him. i am sooo obsessed! i wrote like 30 pages about him in like 3 weeks and i keep having dreams about him and when i was in florida, i thought i saw him! i don't want to talk to a physiatrist about it though. i'm scared too. and i love him too. i had to drive with him once and i failed because he made me so nervous, this was less than a month ago, and i started crying at the end and he gave me a hug!!! it was great and i'm never washing that shirt. haha. i am probably more obsessed than you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): i know exactly how you feel im 13 and my teacher is 32 he's married but has no kids...YETT!! i love so much it's unreal no one understands how i feel im glad we can help eachother in this time 3
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female
reader, charmedluv44 +, writes (24 April 2009):
WOW! I've been searching google to find answers just like these. i have a similiar problem to all of these except my teacher is a lady. Now i'm not gay or anything, it's just I've always had this terrible connection with my mom and ever since I first met her I feel like shes a second mom. Most of my friends know and they say I'm obsessed because I go hang out with her before and after school but thats only because she tells me things about her that she doesn't tell the other kids. We have real down to earth talks. By the way shes only 24, so I guess she would be like a big sister. Anywasy shes cool as ever and a big favorite with a lot of kids, but this is my last year in middle school and I can't help but be a little depressed about not seeing her everyday. I realize that I can't tell her how I feel because how weird would that be telling your teacher you wished she were your mom. But on the other hand if she only knew the reason why and how much I hate my own mother, I know she'd understand. But that would only make her worry about me and do something drastic when it's not that bad to the extremity. I can handle my home life. I just wish I could confide in her that way without her freaking. My overall problem is that I don't know how to stop visiting her and talking to her or hanging out with her. Everytime I can get a pass out of class I'm headed straight to her room just to get a good laugh. I find that I'm ignoring my friends and my boyfriend. Recently I've stopped completely going to see her but now I'm still depressed, I just want to yell out how AWESOME she is and then spend the whole day with her. I guess if i had a proper mother figure this wouldn't occur but since this is reality I need help on how to not visit her as often and not be annoying but still be able to talk to her occasionally. How do I equal my time without going crazy? Please if there is anyone with a problem like this,... HELP ME!
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reader, Sk8er101 +, writes (31 January 2009):
I feel the same way all of you do. Im 15 and i have a science teacher that is 25. Only 10 years age difference but still a huge age difference for my age. i have him for my first hour class, so i go in to the classroom like really early in the morning before anyone else does and i just talk to him. Civilized conversation. I learned a lot about him and it makes me feel good to know him. Its weird but he always looks at me like he wishes he could be with me too. But he knows its very wrong and illegal. (That could be my crush talking too). I wish i could be with him. I haven't told anyone. Not even my best friend. and she's been my best friend since second grade. i probably sound like a huge creeper but i don't think i am. Oh and one more thing, not promoting dating teachers or anything but it is NOT illegal for a minor to DATE someone over 18. However, it IS illegal to have sexual relations. just to let you know case you were wondering.
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reader, crushy  +, writes (24 December 2008):
ok, this is sooo like me. i used like my 30 year old teacher and OMG.. he was sooo hot. like u, at first it was a crush but then it went out of control. i stalked him waaay to much, i knew everything. i mean EVERYTHING. my friends also told me to get over it. but i just answered "i cant" or " " u will never understand me" and NO i now they never did and they never will. i had two friends and they lilked the teacher we were like three little stalkers and he liked us like friends. he was getting married year after we started to like him and in one side we were so exited but on the other hand we were crushed though we liked her fiance, she was really nice and cute and everything but, we knew next year it wasnt going to be the same. at the end of the year, my friends started to stop stalking him like before and stopped liking him too. but i couldnt, when they told me to stop i was like... ok..i guess.
well enough about me. now i know its illegal but if you have another crush on someone your age u will get distracted.. trust me
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reader, Pinkbees09 +, writes (9 October 2007):
 I use to be the same way with one of my teachers last year. But then this year it was like, what I liked him? So people telling you to stop liking him doesn't help at all. It's ok to like him but don't tell him, as hard as that sounds or anyone else. I know I wanted to scream to the world how much I was 'in love' with my guy. I'm happy I did nothing about it though. So eventually it will fade away don't worry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): OMG girl no way should you even comtemplate telling your teacher you love him.
Believe me when i say, the embarrassment would be tragic.
Ok so you think you love him, but trust me you don't.
I know from experience. I had crushes on two teachers of mine, 6 years ago. For a year after i left school it was unbearable. I went past the school hoping to get little glimpses of them, and honestly i never did. In fact even if i had, your forgotten once you leave. The guy has other pupils to deal with.
At least keep your dignity and forget about him. I won't tell you to look at the lads at school and get a boyfriend, because i know what you are going through and when my friends suggested it to me i looked at them as though they were mad.
So pls don't do anything AT ALL. For your own sake.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): Hey. I'm in the same situation as you are. Except, i don't think mine is an obsession. My situation is ten times more complicated than yours. My teacher is 28 years older than me. he's 44 and I'm 16. He's married, and has his first baby on the way. He's the most amazing person I've ever met. He can make me laugh, and cheer me up when I'm down. He makes me feel like I can do anything, and I'd give anything to have a person like that. He's not exactly a man candy, but he is attractive.
It's almost like we're the same person...except that he likes Math. We both hate wasting our time with people who never cooperate, being interrupted, not getting things done on time, and we both love being our best.
Well, for your case, I think you should do what I'm going to do. Tell him when you graduate. Don't worry the years will go by. Lucky for me, i'm going into junior year, and then it will only be one year left for me.
Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiya Allie, erm...i really wanna tell him - but i'm so scared. I fink i'd rather go thru a less extreme approach like staring at him in an obvious way, so that he actually notices me - and perhaps if i make a habit of this he'll know i'm fond of him and HOPEFULLY comfront me about it so den i'd HAVE to explain it to him. it wud b alot easier doin it that way than to just randomly go into his room nd tell him the whole situation - with him being clueless about the whole thing! If youu get me?
so does anyone els hav any ideas as to letting him know my love for him! I'd like it to be as less humiliating as possible xx
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reader, Allie08 +, writes (13 June 2007):
funny!!! ok so it depends completely on do you want to tell him??? cause you know if you do ill help!!! :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx Allie! I jus love how you agree with me lol - I really wanna tell him my feelings, or perhaps use body language to let him know. However, if i were to do this i'd dread his reaction! Would he be glad to kno he has an admirer, would he be freaked out by the whole thing? The only way to find out is to go ahead with it and tell him - but i would hesitate, afterall how can it be easy telling someone twice your age, you love them? I just need a boost to giv me the courage to do it...just hope i'd be doin the right thing - but knowing me, i'd probs do summat stupid Like dis
Me: "Sir, er... i got summat to tell you"
Sir: *looks at me blank*
Me: *Stand der like a prat for 10 seconds, den run out dah room*
Lol!!! Anywayz, feel free to giv me more advice xxx ty xxx
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reader, Allie08 +, writes (12 June 2007):
I don't know it's hard to say. but i don't agree with dr. pete because i know teachers who have dated students. But the age difference in your situation is what is so troubling. If you honestly think it's the right thing to do then do it. You shouldn't sit here and let people tell you what to do. Good luck. message me if you want to talk... :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): No I don't think you should. I've worked in a school as a teaching assistant and teachers don't look at their students with any thoughts that any kind of sexual or romantic relationship could happen with them, it's the last thing on their mind since they are too busy doing their job. The very few teachers that do start relationships with the students are very much ethnically wrong and shouldn't be teaching.
Just because he happened to make eye contact does not mean he is interested in you, I mean what can you really expect to happen other than to make both of you really uncomfortable? He probably knows why you are staring at him, he's probably seen it from other girls before and he'll certainly see it again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all yur advice ppl, especially to those who have told me about their experience...Gosh, i'm so glad i'm not alone!
I know dat in my previous post, i sed how heartbreaking it is to kno dat i'll never be with him. But i've changed my tune and have taken aboard some advice as to enjoy these feelings rather than feel down about them.
Anywayz, just a little update - I saw this 'Teacher' today, he came in one of my lessons and went in the cupboard to get some books or sumfin! I propper cudn't stop staring, my eyes were glued to his face and his bum lol! As he was walking out, he kinda gazed at me slightly...Yes, i was very chuffed. But the thing is, i fear he may be freaked out by me staring at him but i just can't help myself! I'm actually considering being upfront to him and confessing all, but to most - this probably wouldn't be a good idea! You see, i actually had a dream about comfronting him bout it and he was very understanding and caring towards me [that's the nice person he really is] Maybe this dream is a signal to actually tell him about my feelings - i'm very tempted! Plus, it would also put his mind at rest as to why i keep staring at him :D so do you guys think i should? if so, how should i approach him and bring myself to say it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): Hun, I get what you're going through. I'm 16, turning 17 really soon and I've been in love with my 25 year old teacher since I was 15. I know exactly what it's like to have everyone tell you it's just a crush, I know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep because you can't be with him; I know all about it. I don't understand how people are so ridiculously stupid that they think oh, just because these guys are teachers automatically means they're not people therefore no girl should ever like them. Like wtf. K my teacher is 25, HOT, smart, funny nice, etc and I hate how people just assume that because we're young we "don't even know" what love is! Summer break is coming up in a week and I'll have to go two months without him, again. My God I'm sick of my life.
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reader, shortybabes +, writes (8 June 2007):
 Look love nothing is ever going to happen between you and your teacher, this is nothing but a highschool crush. He won't risk losing his job for a school girl. Get over him and move on babe, you will find someone who has such a crush on you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2007): You say "No-one knows about this understands what I'm going through" but believe me, everyone older than you has been 15 at some point and been through exactly the same feelings and experiences as you are going through now. It's exactly what you say, it's an obsession. This is not love, it's not love at all. What you are experiencing is a crush. You have emotionally attached yourself to a man that you unconsciously know you will never have, it is a "safe" form of attachment to get you comfortable and used to having a proper and real relationship with a guy in the following years.
You just have to remember that what you feel is entirely normal and that every teenager goes through the same thing. You are going to meet many great guys in the next few years of your life, and before you know it you won't even give this teacher a second thought. Don't believe me? Give it 6 months and right back on here if you still have any feelings for him! In the meanwhile, enjoy your feelings, but don't let them bring you sadness and stop with that crying!
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reader, Allie08 +, writes (8 June 2007):
Ok i know exactly what your going through. I am 16 and had a huge crush on my techer who was 33. It's probably just a phase. You'll most likely move through it. But remember he is twice your age. That is way illegal. Even more so because he is you teacher. Just move your sights on to someone else your age or under 18! Hope all turns out alright...
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