A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a dilemma about my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been dating for over a year now and we get on well, but there are occasional times when I feel I have to 'tolerate' him. When we started out, I was really into him thus kissing and hugging him often. As time passed, I still like hugging him but decline his kisses and some sexual favours. I am less open with my body than before, and his certain actions/words which didn't use to annoy me do. Him, on the other hand is much more into me than before. He considers me in most things, like job locations; is very affectionate; puts a lot of effort into us and tells me he loves me all the time. He has even changed his 'old' habits to make us work better! I'm not sure when or why my feelings toward him may have changed but I know that sooner or later he will notice my change and cause friction. Does it mean I am with the wrong guy? Am I stringing him along? Why do I feel this way and what do I do? I know I would be very disappointed if we parted, or went back to being 'just friends' again but I don't know what to do, pleasepleeeease help. :)
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 June 2012):
 You lost respect for him when he changed his old habits in order to please you. You feel that a real man won't do that, and would be more like "take me or leave me." It could also be that the infatuation period ended so you have to put more effort into connecting. The only way it could work is that you do more while he sits back a little. The more you reassure him the less he feels the need to improve himself for you. If you feel that switching dynamics don't work then you might be with the wrong guy.
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