A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been sleeping with this guy for almost a year now, and it seems as though at times we can be close, but then he pulls himself away from me, and when I try to pull myself away from him, he pulls me back. I've turned my phone off since yesterday when he has left for two days going somewhere with the kids, not even sure where he has gone, but I babysit the children when he's not at work. I'm not sure if he's playing mind games with me or not...I used to hear all the time that he didn't want a girlfriend, wife, or woman living with him, now I hear but then again we've been spending more time together, and I'm trying to keep my distance from him, but when I get pissed off adn say something to him about being gone for two days he comes up with "You're jealous." So now I don't say anything to him, and won't share with him how I feel about the situation cause he uses it against me. What do you do when a guy suddenly pulls away from you? I've been told to keep my distance from him, and now I've started to do so and I've stopped calling him as much. How can I suddenly end it when he has no one to watch the kids while he works, their mother is in jail for a year, and I've also been wondering if she's going to move back in with him when she gets out. I've even brought it up to him, and hear "Why worry over something a year from now you're just being stupid. Their mother hasn't decided what she's going to do yet." So what do I do, if I stop watching the kids I'm putting him in a bind, and above everything we live right next door to each other, and work together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all the responses not sure yet what i'm going to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah it doesn't look very good and as much as I try to admit it things don't seem like they will ever change. I just have to find a way out and yes I'm kindhearted, perhaps too much, might be one reason I have men problems, I give all of myself and do as much as I can, but never get it in return.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 August 2008):
 I hate to be harsh here, but you shouldn't be the one to worry if he is in a bind. They are his kids and you are not responsible for them. Even more so if you are not in a real relationship with him, sounds like you're just FWB.
He's clearly pushing you away, keeping you at arm's length. If I were you, I'd continue that motion and consider the relationship dead. Treat it as a break up and move on. Sorry for not giving you much hope, but you are taking on responsibilities that are not yours and I think it may be because you want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him. He doesn't, plain and simple.
Take care, and I hope you meet someone who IS available for a real relationship.
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A
male
reader, 2112EricYYZ  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 you have to take a stand for yourself i dunno what kind of girl u are by that i meen whether u want a serious relationship if so dump him he'll have to find a way for someone to babysit his kids or maby u can still babysit his kids if u want and if hed let u find another guy one that suits u one that u love and treats u with respect.
if ur looking for a fling then tell him strait up that yeah im jelous and u should respect that and and try to make me comfortable about the the fact im jelous and not pull away from me when i want to be close to u.
im sorry if none of this helps but i really hope it does send me a follow up
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (6 August 2008):
 You are not obligated to watch his kids. You are doing it from the kindness of your heart and he calls you stupid?
Sounds like he's manipulating you and using you.
You're not even his girlfriend.
but of course he wants you around to watch his kids and have sex with. I'd hate to tell you but I think you need to leave this loser. His kids will be fine, they are his responsibility and he will find someone.
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