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female
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anonymous
writes: I feel as though my life is falling apart. I broke up with my bf, who i was completely and uterrly smitten with and loved very much but then he dumped me for a blond American beautitian, and lied about it. then he started playing with me, being all sweet and flirty but only when things weren't wonderful with his gf. i then got a really horrible spiteful 'anonymous' phonecall from his gf in which she insulted me continually even though i had done nothing to hurt her. I think they've broken up now but i don't know, and i need to find out because it's eating me up inside. When my relationships screw up i pull through by thinking about my future goal as it makes me happy. i want to be a singer/songwriter, and the thought of getting the hell out of here and starting a new life where i can achieve my goals keeps me going. however, i recently failed a music exam that i worked really hard for and i don't have time to retake it this summer, so it's delayed all of my musician plans as i can't take my next singing exam unless i have this qualification.I'm taking school exams this summer aswell, the pressure is immense, mainly the pressure from my mother who has no faith in me doing well, even though all my estimated grades were A*/A/B. If that's not enough i'm so scared of starting college in a few months, as i have very poor social skills and i know that all my current friends will make new friends and forget about me. In all this i've also lost my religion as well, i just no longer feel the strength of God in me like i used to, and it's scaring me because my religion has got me through the worst times these past few years.I've been through a number of coping strategies to deal with my life, none of which have worked. I smoke cannabis sometimes which definitely helps more than anything else, but i can get really bad paranoia and the slightest odd feeling makes me convinced that i'm dying, besides i know it's a bad thing to do so i've stopped. I went through a phase in which i was so angry i started to cut myself, but i've stopped doing that because i hate the scars, even though i still want to sometimes because it externalizes everything. I've tried burying myself in work so that i don't have to think about anything, but then the work ends up being sloppy and half-assed, so it's a waste of time. I've gone on food binges, which make me feel better in the short term, worse in long-term. This week i've gone on a detox; healthy food, no drugs, excersise and yoga everyday. but now i feel really really low and i just cry for hours and hours and i'm really tired. for some reason this week i've missed my bf more than ever, and i even considered calling him, but thought better of it. Please help me, i'm running out of ways to try and cope, i'm really losing it.
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (13 April 2006):
 Hey
listen up and listen good!
Before you can move on, you need to let all those pent-up feelings out. It’s totally normal to feel sad, upset, disappointed, lonely and even downright furious!
Talk to someone you trust and bawl your eyes out. Punch your pillow and deface his photo if it makes you feel better: whatever it takes to squeeze out all that hurt you’ve been holding on to. If you keep your feelings inside, they’ll haunt you forever.
Leave the past behind!
Now you need to close an imaginary door to stop those feelings creeping back in. Start by removing everything that reminds you of him. Change your room around so it looks different than it was when you were together.
List the reasons you’re better off without him and remember to include all his ugly points. Now make a list of the things you want from a boyfriend in the future. You’ll soon see that the past is best left behind you, while the future has much better things in store.
The ghost of your relationship will lurk for a while, so it’s important to stay strong everyday. Stop asking if he called when you were out. No more checking your emails obsessively and whatever you do, don’t be tempted to call or text him.
You also need to banish him from your thoughts, so no more dreaming about getting back together when you go to bed at night! This is the hardest part, but hang in there and you’ll get through it.
An experience like this will change you, and that’s good because you’ve learnt from it and you’re ready to move on as a new, improved person.
This is an excellent time to reorganise your life and set some new goals. Stop looking back and start looking forward. Your past passion is dead, let it rest in peace!
There1 Any help? Talk and tell!
Phoebe xxx
A
female
reader, i-love-you +, writes (6 April 2006):
 hey! first of all dont cut your self some of my friends do and its so bad, yea and the scar thing isnt good eather! but i know wat it is like to be cheated on. like you miss him and love him but then you think y did he cheet, did he love me cause if he did then why did he chaet and then what i thought of most was am i to fat or not pretty enough! that is the worst part, and then somtimes you just feel like crying and then u kinda feel like yor giving in to him but you want to talk to him sooooo badly but then u dont want to call, i know that is wat you said but i know wat the feeling is. and if you want to look on the bright side you could always write a song about this, so many artist take the worst thing that has happend to them and write an amazing song and make it big now i dont know if your have ever heard og miranda lambert but she made this song kerosene, but that was her big song and she took all her rage out on this song and made so much money on it, and with your test im sure you will do awsome the next time on it! and with your mom! i love it when my mom dosnt belive in me cause when i succed i love to shove it in her face! now with the god thing I FELT THE EXACT SAME WAY! like u think y would he put me threw one worse thing after another, but what i did was one time i woke up at like 3 in the moring and then i need to talk to some one and i wasnt going to call one of my frinds so i talked to god, i felt so much better i told him everything how i felt and just everything i cryed so much but after it felt good to get everything of my chest, even though i tolde my friends it still felt good and the work thing dont try and do that casue then you just get over streest with the break up and everything PLUS all the work, and like you said you will only give a half ass job. and with college im sure it will be hard( im in gr 12) but you will make friends and they will probably find some of your best friends there, and who knows maby a new bf. well if you ever need to talk to me or need more advice( i hope mine helped out) then just email me, im here! madison
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A
female
reader, xXxBabymamaXxX +, writes (6 April 2006):
 I'm not going to give you advice as I fear you'll take it up the wrong way, the best you can do is search on the internet, papers or libary for councilling, you need professional people who really know what their talking about, sorry thats all I can do!
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