A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I became friends with this guy a little while ago. We get along so well- mutual interests, great conversations, same views on life, etc. I wasn't initially attracted to him because, not to sound like a complete bitch, he's less attractive than I am and not what I'd usually go after. But I am so confused right now. Because I am attracted to him but I feel like I only like him as a friend and can't see myself dating him. What makes it even worse is that we recently hooked up and had sex. I'm not sure what to do because I think he is starting to fall for me- he is constantly talking to me, asking how my day is, he even wanted a kiss in public the other day (im not big on pda in the first place), calls me babe, etc. I really do like him as a friend though and I am so scared I am going to lose him if I tell him I don't like him that way. He's so great. Such a gentleman and like my friend said, "a real man." lol. I'm not sure what to do because I feel like I've been leading him on... especially after hooking up with him. I mean, I even admit that I am afraid of commitment but this is so confusing! Some of my friends even say that I am only looking for flaws and that I'm just afraid of falling in love. Are they right? What should I do? I'm just rambling and have no idea what I'm writing anymore. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Cole Turner +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Relationships are always going to be a challenge. It sounds to me like this guy would make a great boyfriend. Why not give it a go and see what happens? If you intend to be friends only you need to make this clear as you have slept with this guy so he will be just as confused as you are. I think you should give this guy a chance to show you just how much he cares and just how much he can look after you.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Sometimes the person we should be with is the one who is right in front of us, but we're to afraid to let go and be with that person.
When people say they 'have a type' i'm very skeptical. Put it this way: what is something that all your exes have in common other than 'they were your type'?
The answer is... they are your exes!
In other words, judging the person you are with against those in the past is often going to take you in the wrong direction.
To me it sounds like you like this guy and are also attracted to him but are afraid to see him as a boyfriend. Do you fear being judged by others for this? What are you afraid of?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): welcome to the world of love and emotions! most of the time, people find their mate when they aren't looking for someone. that is what makes it awesome! if you and this guy get along so well - "mutual interests, conversations, views on life" - then perhaps you should seriously consider him.
even if you are as hot as you think you are, and he is a little less attractive than you, do you think it will always be that way?
let me tell you, in 15 years, he is going to be the one getting heads to turn, while you are competing with 18 year old girls... remember - attraction isn't all about physical appearance. it is how you fit together...
just give it a shot. could be the one!
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