A
female
age
36-40,
*opelessromantic
writes:I have a roommate who is 37 and I am 22. He and I are both seperated from our spouses. My husband (soon to be ex) will be 40 in November 2008. Now I am a tall skinny girl and he is a bit bigger than average and I am attracted to him both physically, sexually, and emotionally. My friend says that we act like a couple. For Easter he got me flowerrs.... something my husband has never done! He told my best friend that I am not his ideal woman. Basically because I am too skinny and because of my age. What I do? I don't know if he truly knows how I feel and I don't know how to tell him because I am not good with rejection! Any ideas?
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male
reader, Paladin +, writes (5 April 2008):
 I suggest you simply flirt a little and see where that goes. My guess is that his sending you flowers were a bit of his attempt at flirting as well. The fact that you are roommates might make him a bit over cautious as he may not want to take the chance of messing that up. Forget about what you hear from friends as that may just be their interpretation of what they heard. If you two have a connection it will come out in time and there is no reason to rush it. Just have fun and enjoy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Don't fall for this crap! Your friend may be trying to get his attention and his affections for herself! Most big guyshave it in their minds that smaller women or that skinny females are fragile. Sometimes they think on a sexual level and feel that "I may break her in two if I have sex with her"....it does not mean that you are not his ideal woman at all. Just ask him and talk to him about your feelings. There is an old saying...."Don't ask my neighborJust ask me what you want to know". Go for it and have a chat with your roommate.BadVoiceWash.DC
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): I agree with bits of the responses below but I would like to add my two cents, could it not be that he may have told your friend that you're not his ideal because he wants to shield himself from the fear of you rejecting him if he did want more? If you are skinnier and younger than him, he may feel that you are 'out of his league' (even if you do act like a couple he can still feel insecure, I always feel my bf is too good for me)and by telling your friend that he's not that interested makes it less embarrassing for him if you are not interested in him, if that makes sense. So he could just say "Oh, I'm not bothered if she doesn't want me, shes not my ideal anyway." I think just make it pretty clear to him how you feel. If this is what he's thinking, and he feels insecure, hes going to need very clear signs that you want him before he takes any big steps. Just be honest, I find thats the best advice for most relationship or romance things. Communication is the key! Show him how you feel :) xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Who know perhaps youve been thrown a line by your friend. Have you ever thought perhaps she wants him for herself. If he's buying you flowers he likes you. Nobody is perfect i'm sure he's smart enough to know that. Beside you can always eat cream cakes when youre a married couple. :)
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 April 2008):
 Not his ideal does not mean that he does not want you .
His ideal maybe too high and impossible to find .
If if he found her, she may not want him.
He will settle for you when he finds your inside beauty.
Love grows and has to be nurtured.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 April 2008):
 You don't have to feel in a hurry to tell him anything, but you could begin to give him little hints - smiles, some subtle compliments, a touch on occasion, maybe straighten his shirt collar, his tie or otherwise fiddle with his clothes to make him look better - and see if he starts to respond to a bit of flirting.
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