A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:For the past six months I have been working as a secretary to a doctor (he's only temporary). Anyways, we have kind of flirted with each other - prolonged eye contact, lingering around talking about stuff non-work related. When I took the work through to him I would always notice him looking at my legs. About three to four weeks ago things ramped up a notch when he was at the place I work (only there once every two weeks) and he was in the canteen. I went over to him to give him a message and he was really eyeing my body up and down. And talking about his life in his own country (he's not from Northern Europe) then he said, can I take your extension I have forgotten it, so I moved round to stand near to him whilst he put it in his phone. He then said "I can feel it now.." And I said what do you mean? And he said doesn't matter. He then changed the subject. I said I had to go and I would see him later. He said "see you later" then said "I was glad to see you today" and I said me too and went off to sit with my friend. After that I didn't see him for about two weeks cause of being on holiday etc, then I got a phone call from the boss saying that we are getting a new doctor who is replacing that one - I will call him S - basically because the new one would be cheaper) and I was gutted.So then I kind of avoided S coz I was told not to tell him., then when we did speak it was strictly work and no joking. Finally, this week he has to message me about something work related and he jokes about something, which opens the lines in communication. I say good luck in new job he says thank you and he didn't want to go, will miss everyone blah blah then he asks for my email address so that he can keep in touch with me. Which I give him. The next day he is at my place of work and he seems nervous when I go to give him some work. Then he reaches round to the side of his desk and says he has something for me and hands me a bag with a present in and says it's to say thank u for all my help and support. I say thank you and get shy and embarrassed and he kind of comes towards me!! I kind of put my face toward him and it's a quick awkward kiss on the lips/side of mouth!!!! I go bright bright red and awkward. He is kind of smiling. He says email me any time please stay in touch. Later on I have to go to see him again and as I'm walking off he says "i was glad to see you again"I'm confused though. My friend says it's not a dead certain that he likes me in "that way" as foreign men kiss on both cheeks and maybe that was what he was doing?? He's definitely single and not married or cohabiting. But he hasn't asked me out either or admitted he likes me as more than a friend.? He is 20 years older than me too. What is your opinion?
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (23 September 2014):
 If you don't want him to forget you - stay in touch!
As for 200 miles, it is a long way and maybe too far - but keep the lines of communication open and see what develops.
Hospitals are manic, doctors busy working long hours so he won't have too much free time. A friendly email from you will probably make his day.
Don't build up hopes for you two but don't give up either. Live your life and view him as an option, none of us know what or who is round the next corner.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2014): Hey I'm the original poster
So thanks for the advice- I definitely do not intend jumping into bed with him. The issue I am also concerned about is when he starts placement at his new hospital which is over 200 miles away. We've built up a rapport in six months - a good working relationship. The card he gave me with the present said " thank you for your support , hard work and smile" so what if he forgets all about me when he makes new friends/colleagues at the new hospital? Plus are we too far away from each other to realistically start a relationship ? (Assuming that is what he is aiming for)
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (21 September 2014):
Wise Owl is right - keep sex out of it and let a relationship develop.
He is definitely interested - unless he bought presents for everyone - he is also keeping the communication going by asking you to stay in touch too - so - stay in touch but keep your clothes on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2014): A man who's in his mid to late forties has an ex-wife or
ex-girlfriend somewhere. Sorry, but doctors rarely come unattached. They're a favorite catch among women. So you have to watch out for their egos. They can be players too.
Don't be naive. He was surely making passes at you. Why would he give you a present and a means to stay in contact, if he didn't have some kind of interest in you? From my point of view, it's mainly sexual. Don't make it too easy.
I think it's safe to email him and accept if he offers to take you out. Age is no problem. You're a grown woman.
If you really want to know if he likes you, or just what's under your clothes; keep sex out of it. Just see how much he likes you by letting him romance you.
If you go out, get drunk, and throw sex his way; you'll just be a notch on his bedpost. Then on to the next girl.
Play your cards right, and if he genuinely likes you; take it slowly and let things fall into place. No problem in contacting him if you've got your head on straight. He likes you surely. He'll see if he can easily get sex, and that will ruin any other possibility of something more meaningful. Checking you out, was proof he is no doubt attracted to you.
How? That is what you'll need to find out. Women who give it up too soon, usually get played and then get pissed at the guy. So give it a try. If he looses interest when sex isn't readily available, then you'll know. It's not you he wants to get to know, it's your lady-parts.
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