A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone help?I've been with my o/h for 10 years and we have a 5yr old daughter.Before our daughter was born he was kind, considerate but sometimes a little moody.When i became pregnant although he said he was happy he changed.The occasional mood became more frequent.When she was born, he completely changed.Didn't even change her nappy and for the first 2 years did't help much with anything.His moods became darker and was aggresive.We spilt up a couple of times because of this,the last time early last year.The aggresion has stopped but the dark moods haven't,although they are less frequent.The thing is although he is better with our daughtershe adores himI no longer love him,i'm only with him for her sake, but i'm so miserable.People say put you children first, but must i just 'exsist' for the sake of my daughter? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bemused  +, writes (5 January 2008):
 Hi there
I read your post a couple of times to get the sense of what you are grappling with here. It seems to me that, in some sense you have already made up your mind on this one. It seems that you want and need to leave. If, when you balance all out that seems the best option then it is what it is. I would imagine that you are well aware of the intermediate step of counselling for this relationship. Do you think it would make a difference at this point in time? From what you describe your husband might be grappling with depression or bipolar disorder. Could be you feel have fought the good fight and want out. The conventional wisdom says you should stay but that is questionable if you are generally unhappy. Your daughter will be growing up in a household of tension and unrest. She will still have her dad in her life if you decide to leave. No I do not think you should settle for just existing. Life is too short and each day that passes matters. Follow your heart and your instincts. Good luck hun and keep us posted on how things play out.
A
female
reader, sxcarshalz  +, writes (5 January 2008):
My parants split up when i was 7 years old, i understand now that im 18 and glad that my parants did only because they are much happier and they are two different people. We are all happy now and all get along with each other. Im not a mother but im sure your daughter will understand when she's older why you would do this. It will be hard for her and you if you do go through with it but use will get through just like my family and i have, i also have 3 older sisters. She can always vist him just like my sisters and i did. You need to be happy aswell and your daughter will know if your not happy as i did with my mum.
hope you make the right choice
kind regards
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