A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think I'm nearing the time for breaking up with my long term boyfriend who I live with. We are not officially married, and have no children, but for the past few years for all intents an purposes been functioning as if we were married.It sounds silly but I don't know how to go about the practicalities of doing this. Living together in a one bedroom flat presents problems - should I organise somewhere else to live so that I can move out before I tell him my decision? And what about the rent - neither us can afford to pay it on a single person's wages. And all the bills are in joint names so that will need organising. And we also have a lot of belongings- particularly furniture which we bought together and belongs to both of us - so how do we deal with that?I know this seems ridiculously shallow, and believe me it's not the only thing I have on my mind right now, but it's recently occured to me that I have no idea how to work this whole thing out with the minimum of fuss.Does anyone who's been through the experience have any advice to give me about how to manage the process? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (18 June 2007):
I think you should find somewhere to live before you tell him, i know it sounds mean but you need somewhere to go when you have told him. You could stay with your parents or a friend, or like cd206 said a shared house or smaller accomodation. I understand that it seems complicated because we only think of it all as one big complicated issue. If you do the most important things first (like canceling andirect debits, and packing what is truely yours), and do the rest when it comes to it. I think if you can be calm about it all, and hope your boyfriend is to...it should work out reasonable well. But once you and your boyfriend have talked about why your leaving and any problems you have, you may change your mind about leaving. Perhaps having a good chat about your relationship may make you think diffrently.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (18 June 2007):
 Well as for your one bedroomed flat problem there's always the sofa or the floor if you can't stay in the same bed and the rent just means that if you move out you'll need to move into a shared house or smaller flat rather than the one you're in now. Bills are fairly easy to work out. In your position I would estimate how much the coming bills will cost and leave enough to cover your share and let your boyfriend work out changing the names on the bills. Any that are in your name and that are direct debit, cancel the direct debits. It's not the end of the world working out how to do all of this stuff. In fact it's relatively uncomplicated. Maybe you're focusing on all this stuff so that you don't need to focus on the break up.
CD
...............................
|
