A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Firstly just want to say I have not had many girlfriends and was desperately hurt by my last one by being dumped when I thought we had a serious future together (marriage, kids etc). Now I am with another girl (9 months) and still find I have serious issues (insecure, so scared about getting hurt). How can I overcome them?Finally, my current girlfriend has said that in her past long term relationship she was kissed by guys three times. She denies that she kissed back and she pulled away. Her ex knew about this and they carried on going out but I seem to be having a serious issue and it is really starting to affect me. She says she should not have put herself in those positions but she does not know how she did. I'm so scared of being hurt but love this girl like crazy and she says this relationship is completely different to her last.Thoughts?
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her ex, her past, insecure Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): Ah i am just like you and at the end of the day it comes down to two things. Either you stay with her and take a chance on love or you never enter a relationship and end up alone. Looks pretty clear to me which one you should chose. Its not the girl who's putting insecurities in your mind, it's you. If she hasn't given you a reason during your relationship (forget about her past) then you shouldn't be worrying. :)Good luck! :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2013): Thanks, I know you are right but I am just finding it hard. If she led on these guys whilst in a long term relationship why should it be any different with me? I certainly do not feel special even though she constantly says I am completely different to her ex
I am desperately trying to get over these insecurity issues but I just do not know what to do. I feel like its mental torture and my mind just does not stop itself from thinking negatively about anything. I have read you should try to think about 10 things you like about yourself and list them but so far I only make it to three. I know its affecting my relationship and what makes it worse is I don't feel like I can talk to my parents so any help would be very much appreciated
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A
female
reader, malletchick76  +, writes (17 April 2013):
 You need time to make yourself whole before embarking on a relationship with someone. Do your personal homework and find out how you can build your sense of self-worth. I would recommend a book on interpersonal communication. It has helped me so much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2013): If you are freaking out about your girlfriend KISSING another man BEFORE she entered a relationship with you, you need to learn how to chill out before you trash your relationship with her.
If this is really seriously bothering you, please seek professional help with a licensed counselor. A professional can help You develop mature, age-appropriate responses to being in a committed relationship.
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