A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and have known from several weeks into our relationship that he liked to cross-dress. In the beginning this was something I totally accepted - I was honored that he trusted me, it was something we experimented with together, and the idea of it even turned me on.However, we've been living together now for almost two years, and I'm finding that I'm experiencing more and more emotional difficulty with his cross-dressing. He has increasingly kept it secret from me - this weekend whilst tidying up in our bedroom I found a huge stash of clothes and a whole drawer full of frilly underwear.I know that he never wears mens underwear anymore, but he never dresses or undresses in front of me - the only reason I know is because I do most of the clothes washing!For some reason it's made me increasingly unable to be feminine myself - I only wear basic black undies now, and would feel totally uncomfortable wearing any kind of silky or colourful underwear or nightclothes. I'm sure there's some kind of underlying psychological thing going on here, but I feel like he's stealing my femininity from me - which I'm sure sounds crazy. It's making me feel very insecure about myself somehow.I'm increasingly resenting his cross-dressing, and wishing he could sometimes be the manly man I need him to be. I would never have believed this at the beginning of our relationship, but it's starting to make me feel really revulsed, although conversely I hate it that he has this whole secret life that doesn't include me.Help!
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (7 December 2008):
 Hi Hunny
I understand you 110% and more, I was married to a very abusive man who secretly wanted to be a woman and was jealous to the core of my femininity, Unfortunately he told me this a few weeks after our child was born..I new a little sweetheart and tried to help but it was a pointless situation to be in as he would not help himself he would take out his frustration on me for being a woman, I was never comfortable with this after I slowly found out it absolutely crippled me. I got in touch with a help line in the U.k and explained my situation to someone and I was told there and then that my husband was very dangerous. It wasn't so much the C.D It was how he treated me and how it made me feel, I did not want this in my life I did not want to accept this, I'm not against anyone living there life the way they choose I'm very down to earth and accepting of all kinds of things and understanding, But when someone is hurting you to get there kicks then that is another story...
I'm going to tell you now if you do not like this in your life then you will have to be the one to walk away hunny, It took me 6yrs to get away as he was extremely violent with it, But its the best thing I ever did. If you are feeling like this now it wont go away the sickness feeling in the pit of your stomach the very low feeling of unhappiness everyday, Your dislike of feminine things because they remind you of what is happening behind your back when you find these things.. Hunny I understand what this can do to someone. He trusted you by letting you know quite soon into your relationship but its because he likes that you no it turns him on that you know, You cannot imagine what you are in for as time goes on, You may have wanted to accept this as it shows kindness to accept people for who they are YES! But if you don't want to live like this it will break your heart, I don't think he will ever stop he enjoys this to much no matter what it will always go on behind you back, You only choice is to move on sweetheart... You have two choices accept it or leave and get your self-esteem back, Trust me love it takes awhile, If you need a chat message me and I will get back to you PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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