A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,I'm confused, depressed and all sorts! My boyfriend is sexually manipulative and he mentally abuses me occasionally and iv looked on over 30 websites about people like him, male and female a like. We have sat and talked about it and he was really shocked. After talking he realised he knew as much as he didn't know what he was doing. He apologised (off his own back) and promised to change saying it would never happen again. Thing is,in the 10 months we've been together iv heard this a lot but the difference is he realises now what he's been doing to the full extent (I really didn't hold back with the things I said to him) and i'm inclined to trust him one last time but is it worth it? Am I just putting myself up for more pain, heartache and confusion? x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Yeah, I think you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. Be strong.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 You asked: Am I just putting myself up for more pain, heartache and confusion?
Yup.
For two reasons. The first is that just knowing what he is doing is not enough to stop what he is doing. It is part of who he is, and that is how he has survived until now. Fact is YOU Stayed for as long as you have with him. He has no real motivation to change.
Second, chances are that he knows what he is doing, has had this conversation with others before, and promising to change, or try to change, is part of the manipulation.
Bottonline is that you do not want to leave, and are trying to justify it. The very things that you want him to change are the things that were a part of what attracted you to begin with.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): i think there is a good chance he has now realised what he is doing. i would give him one last chance but as soon as he hurts you again or does something that he promised not to then go. if he can't change for you he's not worth being with. luck xx
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