A
female
age
41-50,
*HMommy
writes:I'm in love with someone other than my husband. What should I do?? My husband and I have been married for 6.5 years and we have two children. We only dated a few months before I became pregnant with our first child. I don't believe we ever got a chance to become friends but were forced to be parents right away. Yes it was a choice that we made and I wouldn't change having my son for the world. We have had good times and a whole lot of bad times. My husband has a terrible drinking problem. When he drank, we would fight. I asked him a million times to cut back and it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Things progressively got worse. We basically live under the same roof and raise our children but don't like eachother. Over the past 2.5 years I have developed a friendship with a man at work. I would describe him as my best friend. We talk about anything and everything. I am so happy when I'm around him. We text from early in the morning to late at night every day. He is also married (unhappily or so he says) with children and recently we were caught together. That didn't go over well for either of us. My husband has since decided to quit drinking and be Mister Nice Guy. He is doing things that I have asked him to do 7 years ago. I believe that this was a wake up call for him and he is realizing that it is close to the end. My friend on the other hand is having a very hard time. His wife and family is not nice or supportive in any way. He keeps telling me that we will be together soon. And that he is in love with me and he just wants for both of us to be happy.I'm so confused!!! I have no idea what to do or what to think. I feel that I do love my husband but as the father of my children. There is no attraction there at all. Please help. I would appreciate any advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 August 2012):
 Back off from your relationship with another woman's husband. Down that road lies only unhappiness and sadness for many, including your children.
Your husband has had a wake up call, while he is still in this frame of mind get him to some couples counselling. There is no reason why you cannot now get to know each other as you should have before you were married. You also need to accept some responsibility for where you find yourself now.
Focus on the good times and work through this, if after six months or so the marriage is not improving then leave, but not for another man, leave for yourself, learn how to live as an individual before you attempt to be part of a couple.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): You need to leave. Not for you lover, but for yourself. Leave now while your children are too young to remember. You will never love or appreciate him and it will get worse. If you wait you will just end up miserable, he will be miserable, and after your kids are older, they will resent one or both of you for breaking up their home.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): Remember that when he says his marriage is unhappy, you've only got his version of that. Does his wife realise that they are unhappy? Why should his wife/family be supportive of a liar and a cheat?
If you don't want to be with your husband (a man you don't even like), then leave. If your married lover doesn't want to be with his wife he should leave too. Once you're both single maybe there'd be a chance for it working out, who knows.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 August 2012):
 The very first thing that you and Mr Lucky should do is cool your prospective ruinations of your marriages.... and wait 6 months before you (and he) do ANYTHING!!!!
If, on February 25, 2013, you can take a look at this submittal and say to yourself, "Yep... everything is still the same....." THEN you and he (your married "friend") can continue on destroying your marriages...
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 August 2012):
The very firs thing that you and Mr Lucky should do is cool your prospective ruinations of your marriages.... and wait 6 months before you (and he) do ANYTHING!!!!
If, on February 25, 2013, you can take a look at this submittal and say to yourself, "Yep... everything is still the same....." THEN you and he (your married "friend") can continue on destroying your marriages...
Good luck...
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