A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im in a very complicated fwb situation. We started out as drunk and completly random... he admitted after a few months he kind of had feelings for me, which i hadnt even acknolowdged in myself yet. Few weeks later i see him making out with another girl (which was fine, since we werent anything). About a week later i decided to take a chance on a good friend of mine and agreed to be his girlfiend (not the fwb). It wasnt two weeks into our relationship when i cheated on him with my fwb. I continued to cheat for months as my feelings for my fwb grew. I finialy ended it with my bf but the damage was already done.. my fwb couldnt get past the fact of what i had been doing for months so he ended things.About 7 months ago after months without speaking to my fwb we end up at the same party and within an hour we left and went home together. We have been in a consistnat fwb situation for the past 7 months.. we spend at least one or two nights a week together and talk everyday. We have both drunkenly admitted our feelings for one another and after about a month agreed not to sleep with anyone else. It is the best sex i have ever had and we couldnt be more intimite. I have never felt so close to someone.. even other real boyfriends and he has opened up to me about things that he has never shared with anyone else. As time goes on i just keep getting more attatched and want more from him... but here is the thing he plans on moving to a different province in 2 months (his reason from the start for not wanting anything more than fwb, along with his trust issues with me due to our past). I am a very closed of person, as he is too! we are both extreamly stubborn and dont want to be the ones to cave whenever we fight or have an arguement ( there have been MANY over the motnhs). This is soo hard for me i am not good with comunicating especially with the risk of being rejected. I am in love with him and i truely beleive deep down he loves me too, even with his hard exterior. I do not know how to go about expressing how i really feel for him due to his emtionally unavailable personality along with my lack of comunication skills its very diffciult. I do not know what to do.. i dont want to scare him off but i cant stand the idea of loosing him completly in 2 months. I have another year of school left in this city so the suggestion of me moving with him is out of the question and his trust in me isnt very high ..and for good reasons. Our difficult past asside i would be a loyal girlfriend to him even if he doesnt fully beleive that. What do i do ?
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (2 March 2012):
 What do you do? Quit being a FWB! There is never a future in a relatioship like that. Sex with no love is empty. This is why you are so unhappy. The only time this guy tells you he has feelings for you is when he is drunk. Really?
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (1 March 2012):
 I think you just have to lay it all on the line and say straight out what you feel like you are losing if he leaves because that is your only chance he won't leave with it making it work. at the very least, you will never regret saying your piece. if he leaves without your objection you're already 'losing' and being rejected. take a risk bc you're already going to be heartbroken.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree, i did not love the person i was in a relationship with.. never said i did. This happend over a year ago, i was 19 years old. I regret the mistakes i made and did not handle that situation correctly at all. His actions to go makeout wiht another girl also happend over a year ago and our situation has drastically changed. He has been 100 percent loyal to me over the past 7 months.. and i have been to him since we had the exclusive talk.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 March 2012):
 With all due respect, neither of you have any idea what love is. If you did, you wouldn't be worrying about whether or not you'd "cave" while having an argument, and you especially wouldn't be a cheater.
He doesn't know what love is either, since he can act like he's jealous with you, yet run off and make out with someone else.
You're either boyfriend/girlfriend, or you're not. With an FWB situation, there is no relationship, there is no love, only the mutual using each other for sex. You had a relationship with someone else and betrayed the guy by cheating on him with this FWB.
I think you should grow up more, to be honest, or you wouldn't be cheating, and getting drunk, and worrying about who's going to cave in a fight. Likewise, this guy can't have it both ways. If he only wants FWB, then he has no say, and I mean NO SAY over who else you get physical with.
It's either all the way or none. If you've never been his exclusive girlfriend to him, then he has no cause to hold you to a trust situation, since the very nature of FWB means NO STRINGS ATTACHED.
...............................
|
