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I'm in love with my former boyfriend!?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 December 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello my name is Jodie, I'm fifteen years old.

And it may sound corny but I need someones help, well I'm crying out for it here.

Well there is a boy called Tom in my life, he is a former boyfriend, and I'm madly, in love with him, so much he's mostly all I can focus on, but that isn't the problem....

We dated a few months ago, it was a pretty intense, and wonderfully romantic relationship - and i loved every second of it, but sadly for me he ended it with me after about a month of being boyfriend and girlfriend, I still don't really know why his excuse was that "he liked being a flirt" but I'm still not convinced thats why. It caused me to get depression, so I stayed away and moved to my Aunt's in the States, just for three weeks - I needed a break! But I'm back in England now, and I went to a Paramore concert with him in late November, and my heart still craves him, I saw him in town, and he was too hard to avoid I went and hugged him, and it made me feel on top of the world just to hold him, once more. But that isn't all when we were at Paramore, I wanted to kiss him, and it seemed as though he wanted to kiss me, but I didn't want to make a false move, so I didn't persue what I wanted to do, and have regretted it ever since, I still want him back. Please how do you fall out of love with someone? Because they'll never love you back?

View related questions: a break, flirt, his ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009):

You need to try to stay away from this guy so you can get over your feelings for him. Any time you go hug him or do something with him, you basically erase all the progress you had made up to that point in getting over it. I agree with the previous poster in that you should just go have fun with your friends as much as possible. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will get over him and find someone 100% better that will really care about you! This guy barely stuck around long enough to get to know you and then left. He isn't worth any more of your time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I know what you say is probably true, but there has been other guys, I have tried to pick myself up and get over it, but I just haven't felt the same connection I felt with Tom, it's a completely different feeling, like I stopped feeling that kind of love when Tom ended it with me or something.

But thank-you for your reply!

x

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A female reader, Blod United Kingdom +, writes (27 December 2009):

Blod agony auntFalling out of love with someone isn't easy, as you know. It takes time. You'll probably be feeling like this for a while yet but you'll get over him honest.

You're fifteen now, in the middle of your teenage years and there really isn't a worse time to be going through something like this. Every problem and every emotion seems to be magnified at your age. I've been there, and it's horrible so I really do feel for you.

I know you hear this all the day, but there really is plenty more fish in the sea. You only care about this Tom guy at the moment, but trust me, there's likely to be a few more Tom's throughout your life. You'll find someone one day that'll love you for who you are and make you feel even happier than Tom did. Time will help you get over him, as will getting older and growing out of being a teenager.

The only advice I can give you is to be yourself. It's easy to say but just get out there, have fun and enjoy yourself. You're young and carefree: you have no bills to pay, no 9-5 job and no kids to rally around. So make the most of it.

Just have a laugh and be who you want to be. Honestly, before you know it someone will pop up out of the blue and make you very, very happy.

Hope I helped and best of luck. X

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