A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with two guys, both the same age.. I'm currently with one and have a child with him, but he doesn't make me as happy as the other! What should i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Stay with the father of your child, and be friends with the other guy. Why not? It is perfectly ok to be friends with another man. You don't need to sleep with him, or kiss him, for him to make you happy, and for you to enjoy each others company. As long as you move all your romantic feelings towards your boyfriend you should be able to have a great friendship with this other man.
No one said you need to have everything in one man. That's why people have more than one friend, because different people bring different joys to our lives. You choose a partner for different reasons than you choose friends, so why should your partner be the only person able to make you happy?
If this other guy makes you happier, or makes you laugh, then keep him around as a friend who cheers you up. Your boyfriend might not make you just as happy, but perhaps he is more fulfilling in other aspects, for example trustworthy, loyal, takes good care of you and your child, someone you can relax with and just enjoy life with.
Think about what is important to you in a life-partner, and what is important to you in a friend. Figure out which one of these guys is the best match for you in the long-term. Who is your true life companion? You already have ties with your boyfriend through your child, and it is going well. Who's to say this other man will not handle a child this well? Especially a child that is not his? And what about the child, what is best for your child?
Im worried that if you leave your boyfriend over a guy that "makes you happier", you will soon find yourself leaving the new guy once he gets boring over someone who's making you even happier. Didn't your current boyfriend also make you very happy once? There is no guarantee that this new guy will not become dull after a while. So try to evaluate what is important to you in a life-partner, truly important. A general "he makes me happy" is too vague.
I had a boyfriend once who made me very happy. I had the greatest time ever with him. But I also had some of the worst moments, hours, weeks, with this guy, because of his extremes. He could make me extremely happy by being perfect one day, and then he could flip around and devastate me the next if he was in a bad mood. Being "happy" is too general and vague and means little. Figure out what exactly it is that makes you happy.
A
male
reader, JoeDhon  +, writes (20 February 2011):
you have a child with the guy
...you happy with a third person because you ignoring what the first guy and your child is giving.
unless he beats you up, cheated on you, or the baby is a one night trajedy, give the guy a try:
do what's best for your kid, give him a family.. you really dont want to complicate stuff.
advice: talk to him about the thing he's doing wrong in:
SHORT sentence... and quick
dont yell.. and tell him you its very important for your relationship with him
(when you give him something simple to think, he will go to action faster. he will either get his act str8 or break up)
therefor either you child will have a normal fam, or you will get a chance with the other guy
...............................
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