A
female
age
30-35,
*issjones118
writes:i been dating this married man for about a year now.. when me and him started to mess off. we both agree to no feeling and no attachment... however time have change and now i have feeling for him.. i meet him at my old high school. hes wife have seen my picture and she have called my phone 3 times so far.. but i have spoke to her and kids and she doesnt even know who i am... yall im in love with him.. and yes i have a boyfriend or should i say the father of my son... be and him been together 5 years. and him and his wife been together 6 yrs... i have so much left to say ... if anyone read this please comment
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female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (11 September 2010):
 What you are looking for isn't advice, its approval. Don't post something like this and not expect to get the responses you got.
And no, just because he said from the get go and now you tell him that and he is still doing it does not automatically mean he has feelings for you, it might, but you can only know if you ask him. Only he knows, we don't.
However, I stand by what I previously said and I think that what you are doing is wrong and you should do the right thing and stop it all together. I don't care if you don't have intentions of keeping him from his family, but you're preventing him from giving his all to his wife or for them to work out their issues.
put yourself in the other shoe, would you want your husband (pretend here that you have one) sneaking around your back with someone else, no matter what her intentions were...its still wrong.
A
female
reader, missjones118 +, writes (11 September 2010):
missjones118 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk. Everybody making me seem like I some kind of whore or something!!! Yes that is your opinion... But its hard to stop messing with him.. If he doesn’t cheat with me believe me he will cheated with someone else!! Its a year now ! We both have agree to stop numbers of times!!.but we both end of back at the same place again... Far as him been married i do not expect him to leave his home!!! Nor family!!! Me n him agree to no feeling and no attachments. He told me when we first started messing off if i ever told him that i started having feeling for him then he would stop messing the affair... But i have told him that i have feeling for him but he dont care . He still coming back!!!!So does that mean he got feeling for me???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): My dear missjones let me try to be brutally honest with you.I have read your update and you seem very very childish, ver immature indeed.Of course you are not forcing this married man to f*ck you , babes ANY man will come over for a f*ck because that is all it is. I won't call yoiu a homewrecker because you already know tou are and you care nothing about this title.Your update revealed the type of person you really are and I'm afraid you will learn the hard way. What makes you think you are different after all sex is just sex, right? Perhaps lookat your motives. You are a very angry woman, I wonder why? Angry that he has a loving wife and kids that he goes home to. Babes, your affair is going nowhere therefore you are so pissed at the aunts here at DC. You have not listened to anything they have said and sadly they actually wasted their time (I am as well) .Honey pie, plse re read your childish words and then tell me you are an adult. I am actaully feeling ashamed for you becasue you have no concept of right from wrong. You say his wife is not doing it right and that you are his second f*ck buddy. You seem so proud of yourself. Ms jones kindly grow up then we can have an adult conversation.To the other aunts I apologise if I am rude but someone needs to be firm esp after reading her update.-LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, missjones118 +, writes (5 September 2010):
missjones118 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni never tried to steal him away from his family.. however its not my fault if she not doing it right.. i never intended to fall in love with him... but i cant control my feeling ..they are changing toward the father of mt child. i l0ve him but I'M falling in love with the married man....yes u all are calling me a home recker... im not making him come to me... im not putting a gun to his head... he cheating because he want to.... They been married for 6 years with 3 kids.. and they been knowing each other for like 16 years..this is his 2nd affair!!!! the first one he got caught....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): Do you care at all that you are helping to destroy a family? To take from some innocent children the stable homelike they deserve? And don't try to convince yourself that he would just do it with someone else. That doesn't matter. How do you feel about what YOU are doing? At the end of the day, when you look in the mirror, is this the person you want to be? A home wrecker, a stealer of a father from his children, a destroyer of marriage...
If you still don't care, remember that karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around. If you are so willing to do this to another woman, rest assured, when you are finally happy and have your own family, some other selfish immoral woman will take it all away from you
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A
male
reader, savoirefaire +, writes (3 September 2010):
Get away from this man. Things may be wonderful and terrific now, but he is not your man, he belongs to someone else. Think about it, if you were in his wife's shoe's, would you want this happening to you. I have been married and cheated on, and it is no picnic. I also had the chance to be with a married woman, and I refused because, I didn't want the husband to go through the pain I did, and I knew for a fact that it was wrong. now, if they decide to divorce, give it some time, and then if you guys want to, go for it, but please, while this man is taken, get away from him. If he is spending money on you, you guys are taking food out of his children's mouths. Get away!! If this man cheats with you, somewhere down the line, he will cheat on you. The guy that slept with my wife, was also sleeping with my sister, and two other women ALL AT THE SAME TIME and we don't live in a small town either!!
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A
male
reader, savoirefaire +, writes (3 September 2010):
Get away from this man. Things may be wonderful and terrific now, but he is not your man, he belongs to someone else. Think about it, if you were in his wife's shoe's, would you want this happening to you. I have been married and cheated on, and it is no picnic. I also had the chance to be with a married woman, and I refused because, I didn't want the husband to go through the pain I did, and I knew for a fact that it was wrong. now, if they decide to divorce, give it some time, and then if you guys want to, go for it, but please, while this man is taken, get away from him. If he is spending money on you, you guys are taking food out of his children's mouths. Get away!!
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (3 September 2010):
Please do the right thing and DONT go for married men. After all...lets say things get serious with this man, could you REALLY trust him not to cheat on you?
sorry...typo
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (3 September 2010):
I completely disagree with anonymous, coming from a broken family, parents divorced over a lady coming into my dad's life. You have no idea how this will effect everyone else around their lives. Dating married men is a selfish act, you are hurting other people's lives and helping someone cheat. I think everyone can agree that cheating is wrong.
I know that people here might read this and think I'm being harsh, but I'm not going to sugarcoat this and give you advice on getting a married man. Now I bet its easy to think, why did I comment? Because not all advice is something people want to hear, but need to hear.
Aside from that, usually when things start off as 'no attachment and no feeling' whoever initiated that was just in it for the sex. He's getting from you what he's not getting from his wife.
Put it this way:
He's gaining: you-a relationship he can fall back on if his marriage crumbles, a marriage and children. Sex with two women...yes he probably does still have sex with her at least when she initiates it (assuming their marriage isn't ok)
You're gaining: Sex. it seems he told you upfront he didn't want to get attached or want you to get attached. So ultimately you're getting hurt someday...
Much of the time when a person cheats on someone they tell the other person "my wife/husband is crazy" "my marriage is failing" "we are just not in love anymore" when those could be lies. Some people are just greedy and want double lives.
Please do the right thing and do go for married men. After all...lets say things get serious with this man, could you REALLY trust him not to cheat on you?
IF HE CHEATS FOR YOU HE MOST LIKELY WILL CHEAT ON YOU. respect yourself and those this situation could effect and get out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): I Think that you should tell him how you feel and see how he reacts. He may feel the same way and you two could come up with a solution. Im not saying this is wrong because, you dont decide your own feelings. If you love him you should talk to him. He and his wife may be in problems and she may suspect something.. You two may end up together. Your son.. well he may be in shock at first but soon he will be okay.
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