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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have just accepted a job 200 miles away. Ive had no other offers in 8 weeks, so need to take this one to get some money coming in and to continue with my chosen career.I am in turmoil though, I will be moving far away from the man i love. He doesnt know i love him, and he is my ex, not my current boyfriend. We were on/off for several months and we still text and occassionally go out. When we go out we have a wonderful time and we have talked about getting back together but the time isnt right for him and I was seeing someone else trying to move on. I am so worried that now i am moving we will never have the chance to be together again. Should I tell him my real feelings? I havent as yet, because i didnt want to be too forward and sound desperate, but what have i got to lose? what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006): Dear, the reality is-you have a current bf and I would think he's have a say in all this, as well. As for the ex bf, you and he have been dancing around for several months and neither of you is making any move to make this whole situation 'solid and exclusive'. Why? Likely because you do have a current bf. I think you should let the current bf off the hook and go for the job. Why would you even think about giving up a great job, 200 miles away for an ex bf who is offering you very little or nothing. He's too 'iffy'. But even if he did, I know of many wonderful, committed couples who do the long distance thing and their relationships are intact and loving. It takes committment, drive and huge efforts but it can work. You have a future and a career to think of. Take the job and if he's really committed and serious about loving you back..he'll tell you that and then hop in his vehicle and drive 3 hours or so, to come visit you on weekends. Don't put your life on hold for something that may not be a 'sure thing'...that would be acting quite irresponsible to you and your own future. I wish you the best dear and good luck with your new job.
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