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female
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anonymous
writes: im in need of male and female advice here.so if you could just bear with me here. ive been with my boyfriend now 7 months its been both fantastic and so full of fun most times but we have had a lot ov problems too, we both have kids and x's. obviously!! ive split up from mine a long time but my partner was only away from his a year when we met. i found out he text her early on in our relationship and asked her back and she said no. we got thru this but it caused many rows im a very insecure person as it was, because of very severe sexual abuse and neglect i suffered as a child.anyway im goin for therapy and i was having a lot of conflict with myself over the prospect of confronting my past and i had a blazing row with my partner i was out of control and he left me for a week.well the problem i have now is we patched things up and we where working it thru, he was very distant with me when we got back together, so i made a big mistake of checking his cell phone i found he had been calling an x the very same night he was ringing me to patch things up, she's not his son's mam, just a girl he slept with before he knew me, and still had limited contact with. he rang her twice at midnight then she called him back then he rang her again at 4am and she did not answer then the call register said he rang me straight after. i answered him and he told me how much he loved me and wanted to come home. i was devastated when i found out he had called an x because i couldn't even look at another man i missed him so much, never mind ring an x. but he said we were broke up and he only talked to her. but it was early hours in the morning, when he had been out drinking. was he looking for sex?? is it normal for a person to do this. i have not got much to go on as to what is right or wrong because i have never had proper role models or boundary's please could someone help me out here thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2006): I was in a similar realtionship.He shouldn't be texting other girls...full stop..regardless of whether he's been drinking etc.and late at night is not looking good either. It's a total lack of respect for your relationship and your feelings.I had a bf like this,I was told I was paranoid,jealous and that I would end up being all alone.After being in a physically abusive marriage for five years,like yourself I had problems with boundarys.Trust your instincts, don't let him hurt you anymore.I maybe on my own now, but at least I am in control of my life and do not have any loser of a man making me doubt myself.Be strong and I'm sure that the love you crave for is out there somewhere.Never doubt yourself, if it feels wrong then it is! Take care, and look after number one YOU.
A
female
reader, anastasia +, writes (31 May 2006):
Too be honest it seems he may have feelings for her and the question is do you want to be second choice? I may be wrong though. I am suprised you stayed with him after you found out he had texted her asking her to get back with him. You deserve better. Sit him down and ask him outright is he still inlove with her and if he sais yes or he is unsure you are better off on your own, take time out to pamper yourself and to cuild your confidence. You deserve to be happy and confident
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