A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi i am 17 and i need help. im not a virgin and my boyfriend is and we were planning on haven sex one day but he chickened out, and then told all his friends that we had sex and i was wondering what to do about it? and also how do i give him pleasure but dont do it to were we have to have sex? will some one please help me.. i need answers Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk you guys i have updates we talked and i found out that he did have a condom and the reason he chickened out was cuz he was nerves and he said he did not want us to have sex at a party he wanted it to be perfect for us and that to who ever said to talk to his friends that kinda helped so and thanks for the help guys
A
male
reader, The Gentle Man  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Planning on having sex, especially since it is his first time can make him shy away.
Believe it or not, Guys can feel shy and nervous like alot of women when it comes to first time sex.
Socially it is unacceptable for a male to express these things. So we tend to act macho to hide these things.
I'd suggest next time you are together alone, cuddle up to him then slowly ease him into it. If it feels natural and he starts to get aroused he might loosen up and enjoy it more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): Just put this experience in the past and let things happen naturally, You can't arrange to have sex and expext him to feel comfortable, he might feel pressured and anxious which can put him off of doing it.
Guys get nervous and not all girls consider what their boyfriends go through, especially as its his first time and he will be worrying he won't be as good as your first guy.
Spend a few weeks just getting to know each others bodies through touching and build his confidence, he will start to learn what you like and what he likes and one day things will just naturally progress to sex. You will both be comfortable with it and the experience should be better for you both.
Just make sure you stay safe and protect yourselves
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A
male
reader, meenfriend +, writes (26 February 2010):
yeah i think he is to shy,you might want to talking to his friends.and if that dont do it maybe it time to move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): Well I'm 16 and I just got out of a relationship like that, just be sure you don't break up with him because of your sex drive, it's stupid. What you should do is try giving him a bj. And if that doesn't work then ask him what he REALLY wants, yes it may be kind of odd and awkard asking him but do it!
And confront him about telling his friends! I mean having a boyfriend who is a virgin and you're not it's hard. Maybe it's that he can't handle the maturity of having sex, he might be embarrassed of his size, doesn't know how to have sex. Guys think it's this complex science...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): Well for one thing, he's a guy and most men have a tendency to act "macho" around other men, especially their own peers-which probably explains why he lied about having sex. This doesn't excuse him lying about though...anyway, he also might have lied not only to impress his friends, but also because he may feel pressured by you-yes: you. Don't "plan" on a date to have sex. Let him come to you (no pun intended)on his own. He chickened out cuz' he felt forced into the situation.
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